idolpro | Eclipse's Heart Game ☉ Session #1

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Eclipse's Heart Game ☉ Session #1

You drift like you're floating in water. It's almost relaxing, actually. As long as you don't think too hard that what you're floating in may be bottomless, because under you lies only a deep darkness that only the ocean can provide.

Then, something grabs you and drags you deeper, down, down, down into the abyssal depths. You can't breathe, but that's not on the forefront of your mind now, is it?

There is a mounting sense of anxiety and dread.

Who do you want to become? Will you even get to see tomorrow? What if all roads lead to ████████? Can you still stay '███'? If people see the ████ you, will they think less of you? Will they feel cheated?

You want to live. Even if it's a ███, even if your hands must be covered in █████, you want to live. You want to be '███'.

Finally, a voice pierces through the darkness. It's a woman's voice.

"My, how unfortunate. Your journey ends before it even begins.

"... Just kidding. That would be terribly boring! I suppose I can do the boy a favour just this once."

You feel someone grab your arm and pull you up to the surface.

...

When you come to, you are standing somewhere else.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"He thinks it's what the 'real' version of myself would have done."

Which...may say some things about Eclipse's opinions.

"I take it that Hope and Anxiety sent you here?"

She did, yes. I'm Hope, singular, but I suppose you know that.

Edited 2021-01-27 06:01 (UTC)

"I know everything he does. Perhaps you can help him with his blasted fit over his name, because it's getting ridiculous."

He sounds so annoyed. He's a very annoyed old man.

Ah, yes. "Hope and Anxiety" mentioned something like that.

[ she takes a seat in whatever chair is closest, crossing her legs at the knee. ]

It's become more of an albatross than he wanted?

He leans back into the chair, resting an elbow on the table.

"To say the least. As far as he knows, he's come into great power, but with that also great responsibility, great consequences, and the very distinct possibility of great madness in his future. It's overwhelming; he can barely comprehend it, and that's on top of learning some unpleasant truths about the problematic legacy that's been shoved into his hands.

Of course, he then proceeds to lose his shit over his name, because finding out he unwittingly set himself up for the irony of being named 'Eclipse' over 280 days ago makes him feel foolish. He deeply dislikes the person who suggested it to him as well, so it's become more unpleasant with this discovery.

... It's just him trying to focus on something 'smaller' though, because the bigger question of 'what do I do with myself from now on?' is harder to answer."

He says it so bluntly that it sounds a little harsh, but he doesn't seem unsympathetic towards Eclipse either.

"... And there are far too many other things in the background that don't help, if not make this more burdensome."

Well, there goes the prayer grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference—so, it's what he can change right now.

And I suppose putting a name to a thing is something of a declaration of intent. That's why I chose the name that I did, after all.

"Something like that. He doesn't consider the current him that different a person...besides the fact he has more burdens on his shoulders, and more wounds than before. Which may be why he's thinking about it."

Well, he could think of it as something like a... do you do milk names, or something like that?

"Oh, we do. At least where he's from."

I think they've started to fall out of fashion a little bit where I'm from, since medicine's improved a great deal in my time... but if it was the name he was received when he arrived here, it's a bit like that, still, isn't it?

If there's an attachment there, it'll still be one name, but he could certainly try others.

He considers this.

"That's one way to think of it. For all that he dislikes the one who named him now, there are memories tied to people he cherishes, some of whom are no longer present."

He drums his fingers against the desk.

"He's been thinking of reclaiming his original name, as well."

Well, if that's an option and he likes it well enough, it seems like an obvious choice. Unless he'd like to start afresh.

"It's why this whole conundrum is, frankly, petty and a little silly."

When a thing inside someone's heart judges the very same person it represents a thing for.

"Since the boy predicts that people cannot help but make references to his actual name, should he decide to take it back, and he's terribly miffed about it. But he's simply going to have to learn to live with it."

He kind of vaguely looks up at the ceiling with a look that is, essentially, "ARE YOU HEARING THIS, CHILD? YOU BETTER BE."

People will find something to criticize about anything. But if it's something that's his and that he likes, then it should be something that's easy to go to the mat for, as it were.

"Rather than criticism, it's more that he doesn't look forward to being called a fledgling again. Even if it is true, in a sense."

This is why it's petty.

"Of course, me telling him that he's being ridiculous doesn't mean much on its own, so thank you for the input."

You telling him so means that on some level he also thinks so, doesn't it?

Some people don't place terribly much importance on their names, but in our situation in particular it's very much connected to the self. So, if it's the self that he wants to reinforce, then people he shares that with should also be made to understand to respect that.

"He's pretty self-aware, so it's not lost on him."

But he seems pretty pleased with this conclusion.

"...I'll make sure he remembers that."

I'm glad I was able to help.

Is there anything else I ought to take a look at?

"Hmm... I suppose if you'd like to understand him a little more, you can take a look around in this room and the next one."

I'd very much like to, if my presence is welcome.

Maybe even if my presence is only tolerated.

[ and she's going to head back over to the wooden slats, in the process of being painted, to read them. ]

"Impertinent, aren't you." But there's no real heat to his words. It's more of a statement than anything else.

The written slats on the table are as follows:

"Be vicious to those who have harmed you and yours."
"Cut your losses with people who won't take care of themselves."
"Do not repeat the mistakes of your predecessors."
"Kindness without strength is meaningless."

[ she just grins at what he says—and taps her fingers lightly on the table where the slats are being painted. ]

...I begin to see a picture beginning to form.

[ what do the ones already hanging up say? ]

On the board, wooden slats are arranged in rows. They seem to be based on order of importance. Each slat has something written on them.

On the very top row:
"People should be free to choose their own path."

Middle row:
"The freedom to make decisions also means the freedom to bear the consequences."
"Hypocrisy is abhorrent."
"You can't help others if you don't help yourself."
"Always be wary of putting too much stock in the rightness or goodness of your own actions."
"Everything has a price."

Bottom row:
"Sacrifice in the name of the 'greater good' is self-righteous bullshit."
"Don't make promises you can't keep."
"The ones who are the most difficult to love and care for probably need it the most."

Well, a good start... free will is the most important of all gifts.

"Sacrifice in the name of the 'greater good' is self-righteous bullshit," though—

[ she turns back to her companion, here ]

Well, where does that one come from?

"Bad experiences here," he says plainly. "Also, knowing quite a lot of people back home would think you're better off dead because you're supposedly possessed by a sun-stealing demon tends to give one a dim view."

Eclipse's Heart Game ☉ Session #1

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