[ well whatever conversation he wanted to have doesn't matter anymore now, does it. he hears the high pitched sound and that would already have been unpleasant enough, but then it gets worse.

For the first few hours, for the first few days, he really tries to cling onto his rational thoughts. It's an illusion, this is a game, it's just like when he died last time. It isn't real.

So he tries to remind himself that it'll be over, keeps looking over and over at his tattoo to ground himself — the anchor Emet-Selch suggested to him.

But the days go on and then the people he loves die one after the other, right in front of him, before he can catch them. And at the end of it all, the realization that he's responsible for it crushes him.

The vision end and he's in control of himself again but it's still too fresh on his mind — he takes a step back and he looks terrified and disoriented, not sure where he is or what's going on anymore ]

This isn't right, that's not— that's not possible.