Eclipse's Heart Game ☉ Session #1

[idolpro]

You drift like you're floating in water. It's almost relaxing, actually. As long as you don't think too hard that what you're floating in may be bottomless, because under you lies only a deep darkness that only the ocean can provide.

Then, something grabs you and drags you deeper, down, down, down into the abyssal depths. You can't breathe, but that's not on the forefront of your mind now, is it?

There is a mounting sense of anxiety and dread.

Who do you want to become? Will you even get to see tomorrow? What if all roads lead to ████████? Can you still stay '███'? If people see the ████ you, will they think less of you? Will they feel cheated?

You want to live. Even if it's a ███, even if your hands must be covered in █████, you want to live. You want to be '███'.

Finally, a voice pierces through the darkness. It's a woman's voice.

"My, how unfortunate. Your journey ends before it even begins.

"... Just kidding. That would be terribly boring! I suppose I can do the boy a favour just this once."

You feel someone grab your arm and pull you up to the surface.

...

When you come to, you are standing somewhere else.

Comments

[weenwoon]

[He looks a little flustered.]

Ah... which way, then?

[intheshade]

"Selfish, maybe. Or harsh, 'cause it's not like he's exactly nice about it."

[weenwoon]

...I've had a conversation about a similar topic with a friend once. I am of the belief that it is the intent that matters, not precisely the action or words that carry it across. Those can be breached.

[intheshade]

"Even when it ends up hurting others?"

[weenwoon]

[He nods.]

I cannot speak for how other people might feel, of course. But I believe in understanding one another, in apologizing and forgiving.

[intheshade]

A pause. "He's not exactly a forgiving person himself, either."

[weenwoon]

[He smiles.]

That can be a difference between us, then. Though... what would you say forgiving means to him?

[intheshade]

She actually has to stop and think on this.

"... Accepting the wrong that he feels has been done, I suppose."

[weenwoon]

[...hmm. Levity leans back a little, a hand raised to his lips in thought.]

I see... For me, it is letting go of pain and anger when one is able to. But that moment, too, may never come for some.

[Maybe some context is called for.]

The friend I mentioned... his goal was to save his world and his family. This makes his intent good, because he did not set out to hurt others. But in order to save his world, he had to kill and doom people. Which he does not regret. I am certain he would avoid it if a different way existed... but it was the only one for him, and he does not waste his time on regret. Thus, while I still consider his intent good, I would never expect those he killed, their families, to forgive him, nor can I condone his actions. Such choice may only be made by the people themselves.

[intheshade]

"Hah. Well, I can say Lark would like to waste less time on regret, too. He doesn't actually get angry easily.

... I dunno if that moment will come for him. Maybe later, maybe not ever. The only person that whole shit still matters to is him, probably."

[weenwoon]

[He hums thoughtfully.]

Do you think there is anything I can do for him?

[intheshade]

"I dunno, try to be understanding? He's sort of halfway given up on trying to be understood if someone doesn't get it already."

A pause.

"... And I dunno if anyone can really help with this, but it'd be nice if he could believe in his own compassion again. Not that he doesn't have it, but..."

[weenwoon]

I'd be happy to try and understand how he feels. The memories... helped in that regard.

[But, hmm, compassion... It gives Levity pause as he tries to figure out what Conviction might mean.]

He thinks himself cruel?

[intheshade]

"I mean, he knows he can be if he's given reasons to, but that's not exactly the point. It's more..." She bites her lower lip in thought, for a moment. "Sometimes, his compassion gets expressed through conviction, you know what I mean? It's not always -- what's it called -- purely altruistic, or soft, or gentle. And he can be pretty spiteful and harsh, if you haven't noticed."

"So he feels that just 'cause he isn't usually the biggest asshole in the room, people think he's nice, and then they'll get disappointed in him when it turns out he isn't, really. He'd rather say he was a selfish person all along than feel like an idiot who set himself up for disappointment even when he tried his best." She drums her fingers against the table. "... Honestly, what happened with those guai lan heroes didn't really help either, but no one can change that."

[weenwoon]

I... confess I haven't noticed, as such. But I have been told I am a little oblivious in such matters.

[--also, he doesn't speak the language, but it's easy enough to infer that that was probably a swearword.]

Heroes?

[intheshade]

"To be fair, you don't exactly know him well, either," she concedes. "You can pick up the ice if you're curious about what I mean."

"The bronze 'unit' in that city. Their theme is...heroes, apparently." She's practically rolling her eyes, though.

[weenwoon]

[Bronze... heroes...]

...Heart Soldier Senshi? I know a couple of people there.

[The ice, though, is tempting! He looks over at it - he'll go pick it up after they finish with HSS discussion, likely.]

[intheshade]

"Those ones, yeah. You saw what happened to him in that 'game' with the castle? He was with them, back then."

[weenwoon]

[ugh what do you mean its been like 4 days... time is fake]

...Oh.

[Levity touches his neck subconsciously. That... was not fun.]

They were the ones who broke their promise to him?

[intheshade]

"Basically. ...That was quite some time ago, though. Only, what, a few of them were there for it? And I don't know, maybe it only matters to him, now." She shrugs. "He blew up at them afterwards. Messy as shit. Still wonders if he should have said anything, 'cept he also wouldn't want to take back what he said, either, 'cause it was the truth."

[weenwoon]

[He hums, thoughtful.]

If you'd be interested in my opinion, I think it would be important for him to accept that he was upset, and justifiably so. Though he may regret the shape it took, what's past is past. We are none of us free of doing things that are "messy as shit".

[intheshade]

"... I think that's maybe the second or third time someone said it was 'justified'." Her expression softens. "Thanks. For saying that."

"I could send you over to him, or to some other place in this 'heart'. If you'd like to see some other things before you meet with him. You can always ask one of the others to send you his way whenever you're ready."

[weenwoon]

[That gives Levity a bit of a pause as he thinks the offer over.]

...Do you think he would want me to visit other parts of his 'heart'? It does feel a little rude for me to decide it by myself.

[intheshade]

"Then take it from me, there's some things about him that I can't really explain well. If he really didn't want anyone to see anything at all, we'd be trying harder to kick you out."