idolpro | Eclipse's Heart Game ☉ Session #3

You drift like you're floating in water. It's almost relaxing, actually. As long as you don't think too hard that what you're floating in may be bottomless, because under you lies only a deep darkness that only the ocean can provide.

Then something grabs you and drags you deeper, down, down, down into the abyssal depths. You can't breathe, but that's not on the forefront of your mind now, is it?

There is a mounting sense of anxiety and dread.

Who do you want to become? Will you even get to see tomorrow? What if all roads lead to ████████? Can you still stay '███'? If people see the ████ you, will they think less of you? Will they feel cheated?

You want to live. Even if it's a ███, even if your hands must be covered in █████, you want to live. You want to be '███'.

Finally, a voice pierces through the darkness. It's a woman's voice.

"My, how unfortunate. Your journey ends before it even begins."

"... Just kidding. That would be terribly boring! I suppose I can do the boy a favour just this once."

You feel someone grab your arm and pull you up to the surface.

...

When you come to, you are standing somewhere else.

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[ phew.

she knew it was bitter, but maybe not to this extent. she'll pick up the broom and dustpan to start sweeping things up, and crane her head over to look at the wall scroll while she's doing it. ]

As you clean up the room, it feels easier to breathe, somehow. The smell starts to clear up, and the bitterness gradually fades.

On the yellowing scroll, peeling off its backing, is a poem:
Once, there was a maiden...
....who was always looking forward to the way things would be.
She said, "Someday, I'm getting out of this place."
"Someday, I'm going to kill that boy that put me here."
"And while I wait, I don't much mind,
'cause it's better to dream tomorrow than to be there."
....
"I'm holding at bay," she said, "what I know to be true."
"That I'll never get out. I won't let my dreams die!"
"I'll hang on to hope," she said, "until Time itself ends. But--"
"There's always an ending," said Time.

Sometimes it's a while before you can really feel like you can deal with something like this, isn't it...

[ after it's tidied up to her standards, she puts the broom and dustpan tidily in a corner and sees if there's a place to hang the wall scroll. ]

There's a place on the back wall. It looks like it was supposed to have been there, actually.

[ well, no reason not to hang it back up, now that the room's all tidy. it's a good sutra to remember, when things come to an end.

what's in the notebook, though? ]

The front pages of the notebook have been ripped out. The first page that comes after is filled with words and sometimes whole sentences that have been completely blacked out with a pen, rendering the text illegible.

There is one bit that isn't scratched out. You can recognise it as Eclipse's handwriting.
Not worth it.

.....hm.

[ well, she's going to tear that page out of the notebook, too, to just have it be fresh, and put the torn-out page in the bin with the rest of the sweeping-up.

then, on the next page, she's going to tidily write the following:

Once, there was a maiden...
...who made herself from the substance of the world.
She knew how to eat an owl's heart and gain it's insight.
She knew how to bake herself in the sun and melt herself in the rain.
She knew how to mess up wisdom.
She knew how to love, and how to hate.
"Survival is flexibility," she said.

and then she's going to take a look at the box. ]

It's a metal box that wouldn't look out of place in Heart Soldier's dorm. There's a huge padlock closing it shut.

If you pick it up, you can get an impression of its contents. What's inside is -

Disillusionment (you shouldn't have put faith in them); anger (why did you have to pay for their actions?); regret (maybe you should have just said nothing); guilt (you aren't kind or gentle); inadequacy (you are not and never will be noble of heart); loss (you never belonged) -

Probably, there are many reasons this box should stay locked.

...mm.

I don't know that it's good to just destroy feelings... even if I'd do it to some of my own, but... maybe somewhere else is better for it.

[ well, she's just going to tuck it under her arm, and bring it with her—poking her head out to the hallway.

Although she'd like to take a look at A Place of Familiarity. ]

Shrike pls,,,

It's a nice room, at least.

Eclipse's Heart Game ☉ Session #3

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