idolpro | Eclipse's Heart Game ☉ Session #3

You drift like you're floating in water. It's almost relaxing, actually. As long as you don't think too hard that what you're floating in may be bottomless, because under you lies only a deep darkness that only the ocean can provide.

Then something grabs you and drags you deeper, down, down, down into the abyssal depths. You can't breathe, but that's not on the forefront of your mind now, is it?

There is a mounting sense of anxiety and dread.

Who do you want to become? Will you even get to see tomorrow? What if all roads lead to ████████? Can you still stay '███'? If people see the ████ you, will they think less of you? Will they feel cheated?

You want to live. Even if it's a ███, even if your hands must be covered in █████, you want to live. You want to be '███'.

Finally, a voice pierces through the darkness. It's a woman's voice.

"My, how unfortunate. Your journey ends before it even begins."

"... Just kidding. That would be terribly boring! I suppose I can do the boy a favour just this once."

You feel someone grab your arm and pull you up to the surface.

...

When you come to, you are standing somewhere else.

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Would it be weird to want to call her a sister? ... She's a little like your sisters back home, but that is besides the point. She listens to you and tries to advise you, and she doesn't laugh at you for your childishness at times.

You think that after everything she's been through, her happiness is well-earned, though you get the feeling she would not be comfortable with you calling it well-deserved. So you won't. You're biased; you know what she's done, but they're so far away that you care more because she does, and they matter to her.

... You're glad that she seems to have found herself here, and has been making her own choices. You don't know if there is truly a way to atone for the things she's done, but perhaps it's more important that she wants to do so and makes an effort to. You just hope she gets to remain happy, somehow.

[ oh

oh. she's dead now. she's been killed.
really, it's a little bit embarrassing to be seen so keenly by a little brother.

she thinks she knows what will happen if she touches the rest of these; so, maybe, she'll start with Persephone, gently brushing the leaves of the bonsai. ]

You know you aren't very close to Persephone, but you can't help but feel a little worried. For a number of reasons.

He reminds you of the way some people hold back as to not be an imposition upon others, placing those needs above their own. You've never asked him, so this is just you making some educated guesses, but you have to wonder if he's actually thought about his happiness. ...You don't feel like it's your place to pry, however.

You know, almost certainly, that he did not have a happy ending. It would take a miracle for that to be the conclusion; too many things have been set up in a way where you can tell the most likely result is disaster. You dread the day he actually remembers it and you won't know what you can do for him.

... Worrying over someone's happiness and wellbeing, even though you know you're not really in a position to push. How troublesome of you.

We're of one mind, then, in a way. Even if I'm a bit closer...

...well, maybe we should talk about what we can do. Maybe we can make happier new beginnings out of some terrible endings.

[ and on that note: she picks up the potted amaranth, gently. ]

You feel kind of weird thinking of her as something like a mother, considering your mother is a very, very different kind of person from her. It's probably more accurate to say you thinking of her as a grown-up you trust, you guess...?

You sometimes worry, given she is a far more principled person than you are, and you know you are more cynical and jaded despite being much younger. You're probably going to disappoint her one day. It feels a little inevitable, if you think too hard about it.

But she's listened to your grievances, and she's tried to advise you through some difficult times. ... You know she won't share her burdens with you, because you are young, but it doesn't seem very fair to you that she had, it seemed, found herself facing similar troubles as you did. At least in some senses. You can only hope she is now in a place where she can be happier, as complicated the feelings involved are.

...we’ll do our best.

[ she is uh

Kind of curious about the sashay feelings honestly. ]

You ... don't really know how you should feel about them. Like, besides kind of afraid of them, but it's nothing really personal; it's just that when your introduction to them was their encounter with Shrike where Shrike lost her shit hard enough that she drew her blade, that leaves a certain impression. Every part of you that is a born and bred Wu-Jianese tells you that this is someone dangerous, so you should exercise a healthy amount of caution. That's more common sense than an opinion of them, in a way.

You, admittedly, do not know them well, but nonetheless you wish you could be more...angry, you guess, and not just afraid, about some of what you've seen happened to them. To Aria? You aren't sure how much the distinction matters. The Solar-Lunar bond just seems stupid and unfair. It feels like it'd be cheap and ultimately meaningless coming from you, though. They probably don't want to hear it, and it really isn't your place.

... You don't know what they were thinking, when they told you some things, but you can still appreciate the perspective they've given.

[ embarrassing,

...although in a way that being a metric of "something is really bad if shrike does that" is actually... a little flattering if she thinks about it. but—well, she worried? but she's glad they're learning from each other, in a way.

and that leaves Tatsuo, so—she might as well touch more of Eclipse's emotions. ]

You don't exactly have strong opinions of him yet, since comparatively speaking, he's still new here. Watching him roll with getting into a fistfight on his literal first day here didn't feel very weird, at least. And you don't want to admit it so easily, but you're grateful he went along with a bit of your childishness. He's a little like what you imagine the teachers at temple school would be like, perhaps.

... When you think about it, you can't help but wonder what could have possibly happened to him before here. You've only seen a few of his memories, but in those there was an intense passion that would give birth to anger, and anxiety. Maybe it's because he doesn't remember everything, but he doesn't seem to have them here. ...You don't know if 'mild' is the right way to describe him, but it's as if something essential was lost and he hasn't found it yet.

If he's from the First Age, then it seems a terrible fate is waiting for him in those memories. ...When he remembers that, would you be able to do anything for him?

[ huffs, ]

...that really is the worry, isn't it.

I think sometimes it's not bad to just have people there who know why you're losing your entire shit, though.

[ she turns to leave, and stops to look at the blank scroll. is this for writing cute messages to one little brother ]

It is. There's an inkstone and brushes on the table.

[ so what she writes is:

Eclipse,

I'm honored to think of you as a brother to me—in a way, I've learned a lot about what family means, and the kind of family I want to have while I've been here, and I'm really glad to have met you and to know you.

I hope we can have each others' backs for a really, really long time.

All my love,
Shrike Plucks the Thorn from Her Chest

and then off she goes, back down the stairs. ]

His mother is still downstairs.

Eclipse's Heart Game ☉ Session #3

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