The sudden nascent desire scares Levity even more than Absinthe's disregard for his consent. It's so similar to the earlier hunger, and just as hard to ignore or push down. In panic he struggles some more, but a lot more aimlessly this time, as though he doesn't know what he's trying to do or why, his heart thundering in his ears. In addition to everything, it's getting harder to breathe.]
[ he murmurs, as if he can tell how Levity is feeling -- the sensations coming over him. well, he may in part be able to tell due to him knowing exactly what's happening here.
there's a bit at his jaw, too-playful considering what's going on, before he kisses at his neck -- and his free hand skims down Levity's stomach, presses against the place so recently he had been stabbed. it'll feel pleasant when he does. ]
[That's interesting, a part of Levity's mind notes, the part that's trying desperately to find other things to think about than what's going on. So he can touch Absinthe if he's not struggling - is it that he can discern intent? Or is it simply that he can't be hurt here?
Experimentally, he tries to slide his hand up Absinthe's arm, his touch still careful.]
Y-Yes, as a matter of fact. I would not have thought that pressure to a wound would feel pleasant, normally.
[He does tense under Absinthe's touch on his bare skin, as though afraid. Which, frankly, he is.]
[ his arm is solid, to -- and so are his nails, unfortunately, as he presses them against the scar that was left on him before, digging roughly into Levity's skin. it hurts but there's the same pleasure that strikes in equal measure. ]
[Oh we hate this. The more painful touch makes Levity remember the blade sliding into him effortlessly, the pain of it and Somnus's little chuckle. He wants to--needs to get away, he doesn't want to remember--]
A-Are they yours or your brother's?!
[Struggling is pretty useless, he knows, but squirms nonetheless, trying to push away the hand on his stomach.]
[fun time!!!!! If Levity thought he was scared before, now he's terrified. While Somnus did kill him, it was at least more or less swift; he has a feeling he won't be allowed that luxury here if he makes this Absinthe angry.
Realizing his own helplessness is a terrible feeling, but even worse is realizing that he's too afraid to say or do anything more.
Levity screws his eyes shut, trying to breathe as shallowly as possible to keep at least some air in his lungs.]
I-I don't... want... to compare you--
[--but he's certainly being as sadistic as Somnus, isn't he.]
[ it's a command, and there's 1 more firm squeeze of his neck before he lets go, petting the side of Levity's face. his tone switches in an instant; in one second enraged beyond words, the next sickly-sweet again. ]
[We hate. All of this. There's no shortage of things that make Levity terrified here, yet that sudden change only adds to it. He coughs when Absinthe lets go of his neck and sucks in a couple deep breaths to make up for the deprivation.]
Y-Yes... I'm sorry...
[The words come in a whisper and Levity almost hates himself for saying them--but truly, he's never been faced with anger or violence before. To him, they are an utterly last resort, the actions of someone pushed way past their limit, and though he's gathered that things are different in the mortal world, his conscience nevertheless whispers to him to be more understanding.]
[ there's that sickly-sweet tone again -- his hands move away from his face entirely. there's a weight that presses down on Levity's legs, keeping them still as those hands move down his chest to his pants, curling in them to start tugging them downward. ]
absinthe is each and every cw all by himself. but for real this is bad
[Ohhhh no no no no nope no no. Levity freezes, stops breathing for a few long moments - the touch and the realization of what's going to happen next make him feel like he's going to throw up. And isn't that strange, too? Doesn't he normally enjoy intimacy? Can't he just--forget the context?
Levity's fingers curl into fists nervously, but he can't do anything here, can he, he can't, he can't even fight back and Absinthe won't even listen to him--
He tries to lift himself up on his elbows a little.]
Absinthe-- c-can you kiss me, please?..
[He hates himself for it but, now he does want to go back to when he was just worried about it feeling pleasant when it shouldn't. Please just make him feel like he's willing to do this, even if he isn't.]
[ he pauses, mid-disrobing Levity to lean up and over him. he'll oblige him, lean over him to kiss him. in sharp contrast to everything else going on the kiss is deep and tender, and it'll bring a rush of pleasure to it similar to when Absinthe had pressed against his stomach before.
Absinthe, meanwhile, will be raising himself, settling between Levity's legs and spreading them with his hands. ]
[This shouldn't count as better, but Levity nevertheless finds himself a lot more relieved for it--it is easier to pretend this way, to think that this is just... a slightly more risque encounter than usual. That's all. That's all it is, even if a part of him wants to cry. What a stupid reaction, isn't it.
He... tries to kiss back, hesitant, but at least that can be attributed to the slower pace of it. It's fine. It's fine.
Fine even as his legs are spread apart.]
Can't you make yourself visible?.. I feel like an idiot like this.
[He mutters after pulling away slightly - he thinks this is the kind of more joking statement that Absinthe would usually find amusing. He thinks. He hopes. Please don't choke him again.]
[ there's a still in the movement -- and then Absinthe does materialize. he's in one of his Baritones suits, but it's bloodied, with both regular red blood and his own ichor -- dried, at least, not fleshly spilled. ]
[Wowee! Loving the blood. But, somehow, if even just for now - actually seeing Absinthe does help. Levity thinks it might change very quickly, but... Once again it's easier to pretend this way that this is the Absinthe he knows, who does care for him.
He swallows, eyes straying to the patches of blood.]
I... usually do. What happened to you?..
[Let's just, not think very much, about the fact that there's someone else's blood on him??? And given the way this Absinthe is, it likely wasn't fun for the someone else? This was a bad idea and he shouldn't have asked and he shouldn't have thought about it.]
[ Absinthe pushes the question aside just like that; leans forward and kisses him again, with that same smarmy, shitty smirk Levity's likely familiar with at this point. see! it's just Absinthe! so, this is fine.
there's nothing to be concerned about, even as one hand brings itself to Levity's neck again. ]
[Nothing to worry about! Whatsoever! Particularly not the feeling of wanting to be as far away from this as possible!
Levity kisses back, less hesitant now but still not particularly enthusiastic--because it's a little hard to be so when most of your brain is freaking the fuck out and you're not yet good at controlling your body through stress and fear.
And speaking of fear, that hand on his neck sure makes his heart beat faster! But totally in a good way, right!]
Absinthe exhales into the kiss, rocking into him -- getting friction as he tightens that grip around him, just to the point that Levity will really struggle for breath. the kiss certainly won't help, either. ]
[HAVE YOU HEARD OF ASKING PERMISSION YOU GRODY GARBAGEMAN!!!!!!
It's definitely not helping, and what doesn't help is that Levity gasps in surprise at first, further depriving himself of air. The sensations on his lower body are pretty lost in comparison to the grip on his throat; Levity tries to struggle feebly, pull away from the kiss, get some air in his lungs.
Perhaps the worst part of it all is the tiniest glimmer of a thrill somewhere deep within.]
Absinthe laughs breathless into the kiss, enjoying the thrill that runs through him at the way Levity struggles and tries to pull away. with the grip on his throat there's nowhere really he can go, and Absinthe rocks messily against him as the grip on his throat only tightens. ]
For Levity, everything is just... a mess of conflicting sensations. Between the mere physical response to the stimulation, the way his inner vision darkens from the lack of air, the more base fear of death and the pain of the grip on his throat - well, he doesn't even particularly have the strength left to try and fight back. There's a choked little sound from him as Absinthe tightens his hold and Levity's chest jolts as his body desperately tries to find something to breathe.]
his grip tightens and tightens further still, till it's bruising around Levity's neck, till it's almost like he's trying to crush his throat entirely --
and then he lets off the pressure all at once; letting Levity have that brief freedom, that gasp in, as Absinthe's clothed erection twitches against the insides of his legs. ]
[im not shaming his kinks im shaming him for not knowing basic consent!!!!
The longer air is denied him, the further Levity's blind panic rises. The body has a mind of its own and, as his consciousness is pushed aside, he starts struggling again, scrabbling at the hand around his throat ineffectively, tears welling up in his eyes as he realizes that this is it, he's going to die, he's going to die--
And then suddenly he's released.
Levity falls back, hands flying to his throat, gulps air madly. He doesn't register what else Absinthe might be doing - he's barely aware of his presence at the moment, really. He shudders, weak and tense at the same time, tears streaming down his face. The next nervous gasp of air becomes a small sob. Good job, Absinthe, ruined a perfectly good Ancient is what you did, look at him he's got trauma.]
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Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
The sudden nascent desire scares Levity even more than Absinthe's disregard for his consent. It's so similar to the earlier hunger, and just as hard to ignore or push down. In panic he struggles some more, but a lot more aimlessly this time, as though he doesn't know what he's trying to do or why, his heart thundering in his ears. In addition to everything, it's getting harder to breathe.]
Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
[ he murmurs, as if he can tell how Levity is feeling -- the sensations coming over him. well, he may in part be able to tell due to him knowing exactly what's happening here.
there's a bit at his jaw, too-playful considering what's going on, before he kisses at his neck -- and his free hand skims down Levity's stomach, presses against the place so recently he had been stabbed. it'll feel pleasant when he does. ]
Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
A part of him is sure that it would have been better if he hated this through and through.
He tries to hold onto the invisible hand on his stomach - but weakly, as though he can't bring himself to push it away.]
Is this... Is this how you feel, too?..
[sir are you a masochist]
Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
there's a warm chuckle against Levity's skin, close to his face, as he pushes his shirt up. ]
What? Pleasure?
Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
Experimentally, he tries to slide his hand up Absinthe's arm, his touch still careful.]
Y-Yes, as a matter of fact. I would not have thought that pressure to a wound would feel pleasant, normally.
[He does tense under Absinthe's touch on his bare skin, as though afraid. Which, frankly, he is.]
Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
Mm. I'm wondering .. what you think of my tastes.
Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
A-Are they yours or your brother's?!
[Struggling is pretty useless, he knows, but squirms nonetheless, trying to push away the hand on his stomach.]
Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
Do not dare compare him and I.
Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
Realizing his own helplessness is a terrible feeling, but even worse is realizing that he's too afraid to say or do anything more.
Levity screws his eyes shut, trying to breathe as shallowly as possible to keep at least some air in his lungs.]
I-I don't... want... to compare you--
[--but he's certainly being as sadistic as Somnus, isn't he.]
Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
[ it's a command, and there's 1 more firm squeeze of his neck before he lets go, petting the side of Levity's face. his tone switches in an instant; in one second enraged beyond words, the next sickly-sweet again. ]
You understand, don't you?
Re: ABSINTHE'S ROOM
Y-Yes... I'm sorry...
[The words come in a whisper and Levity almost hates himself for saying them--but truly, he's never been faced with anger or violence before. To him, they are an utterly last resort, the actions of someone pushed way past their limit, and though he's gathered that things are different in the mortal world, his conscience nevertheless whispers to him to be more understanding.]
cw uh [looks at absinthe]
[ there's that sickly-sweet tone again -- his hands move away from his face entirely. there's a weight that presses down on Levity's legs, keeping them still as those hands move down his chest to his pants, curling in them to start tugging them downward. ]
absinthe is each and every cw all by himself. but for real this is bad
Levity's fingers curl into fists nervously, but he can't do anything here, can he, he can't, he can't even fight back and Absinthe won't even listen to him--
He tries to lift himself up on his elbows a little.]
Absinthe-- c-can you kiss me, please?..
[He hates himself for it but, now he does want to go back to when he was just worried about it feeling pleasant when it shouldn't. Please just make him feel like he's willing to do this, even if he isn't.]
this is not good
[ he pauses, mid-disrobing Levity to lean up and over him. he'll oblige him, lean over him to kiss him. in sharp contrast to everything else going on the kiss is deep and tender, and it'll bring a rush of pleasure to it similar to when Absinthe had pressed against his stomach before.
Absinthe, meanwhile, will be raising himself, settling between Levity's legs and spreading them with his hands. ]
no subject
He... tries to kiss back, hesitant, but at least that can be attributed to the slower pace of it. It's fine. It's fine.
Fine even as his legs are spread apart.]
Can't you make yourself visible?.. I feel like an idiot like this.
[He mutters after pulling away slightly - he thinks this is the kind of more joking statement that Absinthe would usually find amusing. He thinks. He hopes. Please don't choke him again.]
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I'm touched that you wish to see me.
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He swallows, eyes straying to the patches of blood.]
I... usually do. What happened to you?..
[Let's just, not think very much, about the fact that there's someone else's blood on him??? And given the way this Absinthe is, it likely wasn't fun for the someone else? This was a bad idea and he shouldn't have asked and he shouldn't have thought about it.]
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[ Absinthe pushes the question aside just like that; leans forward and kisses him again, with that same smarmy, shitty smirk Levity's likely familiar with at this point. see! it's just Absinthe! so, this is fine.
there's nothing to be concerned about, even as one hand brings itself to Levity's neck again. ]
no subject
Levity kisses back, less hesitant now but still not particularly enthusiastic--because it's a little hard to be so when most of your brain is freaking the fuck out and you're not yet good at controlling your body through stress and fear.
And speaking of fear, that hand on his neck sure makes his heart beat faster! But totally in a good way, right!]
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Absinthe exhales into the kiss, rocking into him -- getting friction as he tightens that grip around him, just to the point that Levity will really struggle for breath. the kiss certainly won't help, either. ]
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It's definitely not helping, and what doesn't help is that Levity gasps in surprise at first, further depriving himself of air. The sensations on his lower body are pretty lost in comparison to the grip on his throat; Levity tries to struggle feebly, pull away from the kiss, get some air in his lungs.
Perhaps the worst part of it all is the tiniest glimmer of a thrill somewhere deep within.]
no subject
Absinthe laughs breathless into the kiss, enjoying the thrill that runs through him at the way Levity struggles and tries to pull away. with the grip on his throat there's nowhere really he can go, and Absinthe rocks messily against him as the grip on his throat only tightens. ]
no subject
For Levity, everything is just... a mess of conflicting sensations. Between the mere physical response to the stimulation, the way his inner vision darkens from the lack of air, the more base fear of death and the pain of the grip on his throat - well, he doesn't even particularly have the strength left to try and fight back. There's a choked little sound from him as Absinthe tightens his hold and Levity's chest jolts as his body desperately tries to find something to breathe.]
no subject
his grip tightens and tightens further still, till it's bruising around Levity's neck, till it's almost like he's trying to crush his throat entirely --
and then he lets off the pressure all at once; letting Levity have that brief freedom, that gasp in, as Absinthe's clothed erection twitches against the insides of his legs. ]
no subject
The longer air is denied him, the further Levity's blind panic rises. The body has a mind of its own and, as his consciousness is pushed aside, he starts struggling again, scrabbling at the hand around his throat ineffectively, tears welling up in his eyes as he realizes that this is it, he's going to die, he's going to die--
And then suddenly he's released.
Levity falls back, hands flying to his throat, gulps air madly. He doesn't register what else Absinthe might be doing - he's barely aware of his presence at the moment, really. He shudders, weak and tense at the same time, tears streaming down his face. The next nervous gasp of air becomes a small sob. Good job, Absinthe, ruined a perfectly good Ancient is what you did, look at him he's got trauma.]
(no subject)
cw uhhhh gaslighting? we're at abuse central let's be real
Re: cw uhhhh gaslighting? we're at abuse central let's be real
Re: cw uhhhh gaslighting? we're at abuse central let's be real
Re: cw uhhhh gaslighting? we're at abuse central let's be real
Re: cw uhhhh gaslighting? we're at abuse central let's be real
Re: cw uhhhh gaslighting? we're at abuse central let's be real
Re: cw uhhhh gaslighting? we're at abuse central let's be real
Re: cw uhhhh gaslighting? we're at abuse central let's be real
CW ABSINTHE
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