[It's weirdly ordinary, after all that. Just... an office. Owned by a NERD. And a water cooler, which he might avail himself of if the water doesn't look obviously evil, his own water bottle is starting to look a bit sad and depleted. And a desk.
The posters are mostly of non-Imeeji idols, though there does seem to be a few for every member of ZRAEL☆ and most of LiliS, though all of them seem to be taken from when they were on different shows.
There are also a lot of passive aggressive notes about stolen lunches and plans to steal future lunches. And plans to lace future lunches with deadly toxins to prevent stealing?
In addition, on the pinboard is a missing person poster, featuring a very cute girl.
The desk is mostly covered in figurines and a solitary candy bowl. There is basically no room for anything you'd actually expect to be on a desk There's also a computer, where presumably work is done. ]
[This person has bad taste, gosh. What have that bunch of edgy tryhards on Zrael got that K's cute family hasn't? Except for the ability to levitate. HUFF. He's insulted now.
[Does his phone work? He wants to take a photo of the Missing Persons poster. And the passive-aggressive notes.
[Also, can he turn the computer on? This person deserves to have their privacy violated for their bad taste in idols look he may still be a bit salty about that one time Maki shot him because her pet poet was a terrible murderer. At the very least he wants to try and find out what kind of work is actually done in here, in between whoever-this-is eating candy and staring at his/her/their extensive collection of figurines.]
[Minus points for wanting to watch D.Va get beaten up, though. RUDE. He is getting less and less impressed with this person by the moment. Come on, K's from the nineties, back when you could legitimately use the word DUST as a password without everyone laughing at you, and even he knows how to lock a computer.
Thank you for your concern! While I understand that there is a lot going on with the courier we contract out to, Miss Judgement will have to wait. You may not be aware of this, but an office memo did go out just three days ago that details many of the issues we are running into and expect to have to overcome before we can worry about much else. I have attached it for your convenience, so if you have missed it please take the time to acquaint yourself with its contents, since they will be very useful in performing your duties going forward! :)
I myself have a lot of work to be doing, and many people who have issues several degrees more important than delayed outgoing mail. Please understand that between the recent upheavals in Tokyo-D (and Miss Oracle's crop of newly auditioned idols that WE have to manage, when Tokyo-F is already at capacity) and the recent discovery of The Sacred Gate That Shall Not Be Named in Tokyo-F, it is ADVANTAGEOUS!!! for us to be able to screen all outgoing messages - the latter is especially something we cannot have our friends in the rest of Hell learn about.
In short, please keep yourself abreast of all new knowledge relating to our office, especially when it is handed directly to you by your superiors - this means it is important! I cannot assist you with this problem, or any others you may have involving issues that are NOT Priority One. Thank you!!!!! :)
Sincerely, Saffron ♥
Saffron Sativus, Triage Specialist | Talent Support Services, Ltd. | (XXX) XXX-XXXX ext. XXX This message is for the named person's use only. It may contain sensitive and private or protected corporate information. No confidentiality or privilege is waived or lost by any mis-transmission. If you are not the intended recipient, destroy your copy of this message and notify the sender at the above email immediately or at the telephone number listed above. It is also requested that you immediately mail the transmission to the address above. You must not, directly or indirectly, use, disclose, distribute, print, or copy any part of this message if you are not the intended recipient.
[You must not, directly or indirectly, use, disclose, distribute, print, or copy any part of this message if you are not the intended recipient, huh?
[K photographs it, making sure the picture is as clear as possible and the text legible. What are they gonna do, send him to Hell?
[But it gets him to be thinking, most specifically about the fact his phone is right here, and phones are breakable. Just to be sure, he sends all the photos he's already taken, including this one, to a trusted friend. And then another couple of trusted friends.]
The attached memo mostly addresses a reorganization in the upper ranks of Vengeance Hell's hierarchy due to a series of recent promotions. Some names listed are familiar (look! it's Left!), but the most notable one is Asmodeus, who's name has an attached footnote detailing that due to Recent Events In Tokyo-F and his change in position, he will be unavailable for any escalations for the time being.
An email address is listed for a temporary point of contact, with a note that it will be defunct in a few days when a proper administrative assistant is assigned. ]
[So's murder, and that never stopped then other guy. What's a bit of computer misuse?
[K reads the message twice, to make sure he's understood it. Who would have thought that Hell was so much like middle management, huh, this is all starting to feel weirdly familiar. He takes especial note of Left (being murdered by rainbow spikes in your first game will do that to you, but even without that he really hadn't pegged a guy like Left for Vengeance-side) and of Asmodeus. Looks like someone's in trouble.
[He takes a photograph of that as well and forwards it to the same sampling of trusted friends. Yes, he makes sure to include the email address, but if he's not actually sending them the contact information then it's not like he's actually asking for them to be harassed, right?
[After that...
[Well, it's really tempting to go into the paint programs and badly draw an obnoxious wizard hat and leave that obvious tell - AlcheME! was here too! - up for whoever Saffron Sativus, Triage Specialist might happen to be, but he lets the other guy's professional pride win out over playing to his charm point and decides to leave the computer in as close a state to how he found it as he can.
[... He's sort of tempted to filch one of the figurines, though. Any good ones?]
All of the figurines are of the HIGHEST QUALITY, thanks. They're all good ones but if you must know all the Imeeji-related ones are limited edition monster bingo figures or specifically lilis/☆zrael swimsuit figures. ]
[He considers stealing Swimsuit Edition Doodleman just because, but thinks better of it. He deliberately pockets one of the ones he's pretty sure has nothing to do with Imeeji, one nobody is going to recognize, something they'd have no way of getting their hands on back in Tokyo-F. Sorry, Saffron, only not really. I got a point I need to prove here.
[That done, he takes another look around the office. Push his luck and try the door, or back out the window...?
[The other guy suggests he not push his luck, but he goes to see if he can open the door anyway.]
Actually this is just an empty hallway? The doors to every room are all closed and you can hear typing and Corporate Yelling behind each and every one of them, but nobody's actually...out here. ]
[Yeah, fuck it, he's pushed his luck as far as he thinks he can comfortably push it. And, with enough to think about already and no idea of what else he'd actually be looking for, it's probably better if he doesn't go wandering around in here wearing a robe and wizard hat, and pawing through the recycling bins in the vague hope of finding anything incriminating...
[Hey, is there a recycling bin in here or something?]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: OFFICE
[It's weirdly ordinary, after all that. Just... an office. Owned by a NERD. And a water cooler, which he might avail himself of if the water doesn't look obviously evil, his own water bottle is starting to look a bit sad and depleted. And a desk.
[Maybe he should go through the desk.]
Re: OFFICE
The posters are mostly of non-Imeeji idols, though there does seem to be a few for every member of ZRAEL☆ and most of LiliS, though all of them seem to be taken from when they were on different shows.
There are also a lot of passive aggressive notes about stolen lunches and plans to steal future lunches. And plans to lace future lunches with deadly toxins to prevent stealing?
In addition, on the pinboard is a missing person poster, featuring a very cute girl.
The desk is mostly covered in figurines and a solitary candy bowl. There is basically no room for anything you'd actually expect to be on a desk There's also a computer, where presumably work is done. ]
Re: OFFICE
[Does his phone work? He wants to take a photo of the Missing Persons poster. And the passive-aggressive notes.
[Also, can he turn the computer on? This person deserves to have their privacy violated for their bad taste in idols
look he may still be a bit salty about that one time Maki shot him because her pet poet was a terrible murderer. At the very least he wants to try and find out what kind of work is actually done in here, in between whoever-this-is eating candy and staring at his/her/their extensive collection of figurines.]Re: OFFICE
Whoever left their office unattended also left their computer unlocked. They should probably be reported for being the red computer and also for not actually doing any work. Their web browser is open, and on proud display is a music video ft. that one time you got absolutely bodied by Imp Megurine Luka's ultimate jutsu.
Whoever occupies this office does seem to have been in the middle of writing an email - there's a minimized window present on the taskbar. ]
Re: OFFICE
[Minus points for wanting to watch D.Va get beaten up, though. RUDE. He is getting less and less impressed with this person by the moment. Come on, K's from the nineties, back when you could legitimately use the word DUST as a password without everyone laughing at you, and even he knows how to lock a computer.
[Gonna read your emails.
[Might photograph them.]
DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
Thank you for your concern! While I understand that there is a lot going on with the courier we contract out to, Miss Judgement will have to wait. You may not be aware of this, but an office memo did go out just three days ago that details many of the issues we are running into and expect to have to overcome before we can worry about much else. I have attached it for your convenience, so if you have missed it please take the time to acquaint yourself with its contents, since they will be very useful in performing your duties going forward! :)
I myself have a lot of work to be doing, and many people who have issues several degrees more important than delayed outgoing mail. Please understand that between the recent upheavals in Tokyo-D (and Miss Oracle's crop of newly auditioned idols that WE have to manage, when Tokyo-F is already at capacity) and the recent discovery of The Sacred Gate That Shall Not Be Named in Tokyo-F, it is ADVANTAGEOUS!!! for us to be able to screen all outgoing messages - the latter is especially something we cannot have our friends in the rest of Hell learn about.
In short, please keep yourself abreast of all new knowledge relating to our office, especially when it is handed directly to you by your superiors - this means it is important! I cannot assist you with this problem, or any others you may have involving issues that are NOT Priority One. Thank you!!!!! :)
Sincerely,
Saffron ♥
Saffron Sativus, Triage Specialist | Talent Support Services, Ltd. | (XXX) XXX-XXXX ext. XXX
This message is for the named person's use only. It may contain sensitive and private or protected corporate information. No confidentiality or privilege is waived or lost by any mis-transmission. If you are not the intended recipient, destroy your copy of this message and notify the sender at the above email immediately or at the telephone number listed above. It is also requested that you immediately mail the transmission to the address above. You must not, directly or indirectly, use, disclose, distribute, print, or copy any part of this message if you are not the intended recipient.
[ Oh, there's an attached file. ]
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
[K photographs it, making sure the picture is as clear as possible and the text legible. What are they gonna do, send him to Hell?
[But it gets him to be thinking, most specifically about the fact his phone is right here, and phones are breakable. Just to be sure, he sends all the photos he's already taken, including this one, to a trusted friend. And then another couple of trusted friends.]
To: Sponsored by Mountain D...
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[Click to Expand]
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
[Clearly not gonna happen. He's committed himself to a whole raft of what are probably felonies already, so what does this say?]
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
The attached memo mostly addresses a reorganization in the upper ranks of Vengeance Hell's hierarchy due to a series of recent promotions. Some names listed are familiar (look! it's Left!), but the most notable one is Asmodeus, who's name has an attached footnote detailing that due to Recent Events In Tokyo-F and his change in position, he will be unavailable for any escalations for the time being.
An email address is listed for a temporary point of contact, with a note that it will be defunct in a few days when a proper administrative assistant is assigned. ]
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
[K reads the message twice, to make sure he's understood it. Who would have thought that Hell was so much like middle management, huh, this is all starting to feel weirdly familiar. He takes especial note of Left (being murdered by rainbow spikes in your first game will do that to you, but even without that he really hadn't pegged a guy like Left for Vengeance-side) and of Asmodeus. Looks like someone's in trouble.
[He takes a photograph of that as well and forwards it to the same sampling of trusted friends. Yes, he makes sure to include the email address, but if he's not actually sending them the contact information then it's not like he's actually asking for them to be harassed, right?
[After that...
[Well, it's really tempting to go into the paint programs and badly draw an obnoxious wizard hat and leave that obvious tell - AlcheME! was here too! - up for whoever Saffron Sativus, Triage Specialist might happen to be, but he lets the other guy's professional pride win out over playing to his charm point and decides to leave the computer in as close a state to how he found it as he can.
[... He's sort of tempted to filch one of the figurines, though. Any good ones?]
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
All of the figurines are of the HIGHEST QUALITY, thanks. They're all good ones but if you must know all the Imeeji-related ones are limited edition monster bingo figures or specifically lilis/☆zrael swimsuit figures. ]
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
[He considers stealing Swimsuit Edition Doodleman just because, but thinks better of it. He deliberately pockets one of the ones he's pretty sure has nothing to do with Imeeji, one nobody is going to recognize, something they'd have no way of getting their hands on back in Tokyo-F. Sorry, Saffron, only not really. I got a point I need to prove here.
[That done, he takes another look around the office. Push his luck and try the door, or back out the window...?
[The other guy suggests he not push his luck, but he goes to see if he can open the door anyway.]
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
Actually this is just an empty hallway? The doors to every room are all closed and you can hear typing and Corporate Yelling behind each and every one of them, but nobody's actually...out here. ]
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
[Hey, is there a recycling bin in here or something?]
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP
[Back out the window, then!]
Re: DRAFT - RE: Respond ASAP