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WED BED BEHEAD: Heart Soldier Senshi
[You wake alone with your unit in what appears to be a dressing room. There's nothing on the costume racks right now, but you have vanity seats and a couch to chill on if you like.
On a table in the center of the room, there is an ornate metal box with three slots on top. The slots are labeled with the names of three other units: LiliS, AlcheME!, & avante en garde. Next to the box a laminated copy of the IC rules is taped down, and beside it lie four cards:
You have til 9pm PST to submit your votes.]
On a table in the center of the room, there is an ornate metal box with three slots on top. The slots are labeled with the names of three other units: LiliS, AlcheME!, & avante en garde. Next to the box a laminated copy of the IC rules is taped down, and beside it lie four cards:
♦ a green card with a picture of two linked rings and the word "WED"
♦ a blue card with a picture of a rose and the word "BED"
♦ a red card with a picture of a guillotine and the word "BEHEAD"
♦ a purple card with a picture of two circling arrows and the word "INSTEAD"
You have til 9pm PST to submit your votes.]
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You're like brand new.
[A pause; reaches out to squeeze Reigo's shoulder]
Sorry you're stuck in such a crappy game, dude.
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'S okay.
[ and Buddy Systems him
she's definitely anxious, both out of concern for the other members of HSS and out of self-consciousness and nervousness about doing or saying the wrong thing - like a feeling of being too big and trying to make herself smaller before she knocks things over and breaks them - but she's not really scared. some corner of her mind is braced for impact like a veteran and the rest is mostly just fixated on the rest of HSS. she likes them all a lot, she likes him a lot and wants to be a support for them to lean on, wants to be accepted. she's a little hesitant about holding his hand but very badly does not want to let go. ]
I can deal.
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[Anxiety so strong you might choke on it, that Nem will get hurt, that B or C will, that Sativa will, that this game is just like all the others, giving them a choice that's not really a choice, cutting the strings until there's a helpless, sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, because they've got to hurt someone, they got to kill someone, and somehow no matter how many times it happens, he never gets used to it]
[There's more on top - wanting to do well for HSS - guilt, for the vote going the way he wants it to, when other people are still getting hurt - more guilt, that his team has brand new newbies and he's not being strong enough for them, he's sitting here useless and fretting when they need him, and he should be doing better, but what even can he do? They're going to get hurt either way, and isn't that a pretty welcome to the team, and that sets the sick, solid lump in his stomach to twisting even sharper]
[That's about when it clicks that Buddy Bond is on - that all of this is on display - and the spike of alarm is so sharp and sudden that it's frankly a little breathtaking. All at once, the anxiety ramps up to 11, pounding through the both of them like the racing of a heartbeat]
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pretty much everything else from before just gets whited out by guilt and a base, primal sort of fear. she's sure she did something wrong but can't really string rational thoughts together long enough to place what, just overwhelmed by blind, desperate need to make up for it. in spite of this she doesn't shut off Buddy System because it's scarier to her to not know what he's feeling or thinking at all -
it all doesn't show on her face that much except that she's not meeting his eyes anymore, but she hunches in on herself, practically curling around Hurricane's hand, and her voice pitches up and cracks a bit. ]
Sorry- sorry, I didn't mean it.
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[The great, swooping sense of having done something wrong sets its claws into the back of his throat and tightens iron bands around his chest, mouth suddenly dry, hands suddenly clammy. He turns the one under hers over anyway - takes her hand and squeezes, gentle]
Hey. S'cool. You're - you're good.
[Certainly some of the feelings here seem to suggest that's the case. There under the mountains of of-course-he-messed-it-up, beneath the sinking realization that he's absolutely just made an awful game even worse for their brand new newbie, there's the scrambling need to fix it, a fumbling and earnest sense of apology and concern]
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honestly she can't really distinguish her guilty and apologetic feelings from his guilty and apologetic feelings or his anxiety from her anxiety. it all just gets jumbled up in her head. she latches onto his words and his hand both, and neither of them really dissipate everything, but they at least work like lifelines, little shreds of hope that she's not being cast aside
reflexively, and desperately, and truthfully, even though this timing is, ]
I love you.
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[A stutter of uncertainty, of surprise, at those words. A first, impulsive burst of I-don't-deserve-that, before he quashes it down and tries to hide it from view]
[Instead he presses something out her way, shaky and tenative: reassurance, and affection, and something desperate to soothe despite his own anxiety]
Hey... you're okay. It's okay.
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she still has her own perpetual undercurrent of self-deprecation and anxiety not unlike his own but at that point it kind of all gives way to the overarching wave of love and gratitude. turns her face to bury it in his palm ]
Sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out. 'S hard enough on everyone as it is.
typo oops
[Oh]
[This is decidedly the equivalent of an emotional startled step back, owlish blinking at love and gratitude that surely he does not deserve]
[The anxiety and guilt and self-deprecation are still there, an endless background chorus, but it recedes, somewhat, in the face of these new things, and more affection wells to the surface, offered out with the emotional equivalent of shaking hands]
For real, you're good. I just I wasn't expecting it, is all.
Re: typo oops
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[Concern concern affection anxiety]
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[ anxious and she feels like she shouldn't have apologized again there but it just kind of came out,
still. a lot calmer now ]
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S'cool. You don't gotta say sorry for something like that.