Kino's Heart Game - Session 2

[idolpro]

Somehow,
You feel like you’re about to start
On a journey...
♪💿♪

Comments

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

Oh?

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

If you tell yourself something is fine, it's okay, it doesn't matter what you feel as long as it gets done, then eventually you stop caring if it gets done that way or another.

You stop looking for other ways to do it because you know you can do it this way and it's easier. Even if you hate it, if you....don't let yourself hate it, eventually that hate means nothing in how you approach things. And if you might as well not even hate it, what if you do it when you didn't have to?

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

[Just... kind of staring at him, surprised.]

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

So...

Even if you have to do something to survive.

Your feelings still matter.

1/2

[quickpersuader]

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

...I've never liked it. Killing people.

But I can't let myself die, either. So if that's what it takes... I'll do it.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

Of course. Do what it takes, always.

But it's better to feel that dislike.

Because it's easy to do something you hate, something you know is wrong, when you do it unchecked for your survival. When no one tells you that this isn't what you should do. It isn't what you want to do. And a lot of the time you have to tell yourself for things like that. Because your morals are your own.

So if this is what you have to do, to survive, then fine. At least there's a shred of mercy this time.

But when it's you alone, you're allowed to say you hate it, that you wish it was different, so when it can be different, you try reaching for it.

Being able to feel your emotions is part of living to the fullest too, you know.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

I can hate something without saying it out loud. The only one around to hear it is Hermes, anyway. And...

...I guess, saying it out loud doesn't change it for me.

I already know I hate it.

That's enough.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

So it didn't feel different at all saying it?

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

Saying "I hate it" won't grant me forgiveness for killing.

Saying "I hate it" won't change the fact that I killed to survive.

Saying "I hate it" doesn't make me a better person.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

That isn't what I'm asking.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

I just can't feel like it makes any difference, whether I say it or not. That's all.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

Also wasn't what I was asking.

Did it feel different just now. That's what I want to know.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

No. It didn't feel different right now.

I'm already aware of the feelings I have. Saying them out loud doesn't cause me to feel any differently than I already did.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

Okay. That's a straight answer.

You're not fond of giving those when it comes to your own thoughts.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

No...?

I thought I was being pretty clear myself.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

I mean, I asked you some pretty straight forward questions, and you danced around them.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

I thought the answer was obvious from what I said.

[????

How do you perpetually misunderstand them, Rufous???]

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

'I will kill for my own survival' doesn't translate to 'I don't like killing.'

You can not kill because it's a lot of work, it can bring other consequences, I just hate seeing blood and don't care about the life.

That's the part that's weird. Why you're so hesitant to just admit that sort of thing.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

And then I said it doesn't feel like it makes a difference whether I say it or not. Semantically, it might be different, but it wasn't because I was trying to hide anything.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

And yet it was still like pulling teeth.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

I think you're expecting me to think a lot harder about how I word things than I actually do...

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

You're certainly cagey enough for it.

[He sighs.]

Still, the point is...

You're allowed to feel the way you do. Even doing things for survival. Sometimes doing things, even if it doesn't change the situation...still matters if it helps.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[quickpersuader]

I know. But saying things out loud isn't one of those, for me.

Re: “A Winter Tale” ─D─

[thisismagrave]

Maybe. But being willing to voice it....

Maybe people will give you options.

Sometimes it takes other people to think there's options. Like when Hermes saved you.

Not always. Maybe not even most of the time.

But sometimes....