Note: please be as cryptic as possible regarding any specific actions your character takes when discussing them in the game channel to avoid influencing everyone else!
With those units-- ah, you mean because of the colors of the branches?
Nothing happened. They were just starting to stain the trunk. Letting it change colors is punishable by monochromatosis, so I have to be careful about which branches can stay.
That was a really scary time, wasn't it. But monochromatosis isn't a punishment...
I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job or anything, but doesn't the tree need its branches to stay healthy? It'll die if you remove too many, won't it?
But like... if the trunk represents you or your unit, and the branches are your connections to other people... I worry that cutting them off could be, like... limiting you and your potential for growth and emotional health.
...But I don't think that's it. I don't feel anything positive when I look at it. Everywhere is getting colder, and it's getting hard to feel anything at all, but I can still tell that much. If these branches represent connections, like you said... shouldn't I want them? Shouldn't I feel bad when I cut them off?
...Sometimes when we get hurt, there is an instinct to withdraw into ourselves -- to put up some walls ...to cut ties and limit how much we let ourselves care about others -- so we can protect our feelings from getting hurt again.
I've been struggling with that a lot lately, too.
...If having too many branches makes you unhappy, it's okay to take some down. But I hope that helps free up the resources you need to nurture the branches that bring you solidarity and joy.
Yeah... All the relentless bad stuff lately, seeing the way people treat each other... Sometimes it makes me want to give up on people. Makes me want to yell "screw it!" and chop all the branches down and throw them in the fire. 'Cause that feels so much easier than getting hurt over and over.
But it's not like that, you said? Ah, sorry! Guess I'm just projecting!
Mm. Everyone has their own sense of "morals" there, don't they...? I wasn't that close with Thorn, but learning that he killed my unitmate outside of a game hurt more than I thought. I still can't believe it's something we can talk about like this, and still be considered human in any way...
Protecting yourself isn't bad, Cobalt. The easiest choice isn't always the worst one. But to be honest, if I wanted to do that, I'd chop down the tree, trunk and branches and all.
. . . I don't have much to share, though. That's why I'm here on my own.
And yeah, when things like that happen, it makes it hard to connect at all. Where do you draw the line between what is unforgivable and what isn't? And if everything can be forgiven, then... what do I do with my own beliefs?
It's getting colder everywhere, and I don't know how to fix it, or if I should try at all.
[Whew, this is... an extremely relatable train of thought, like Sol is verbalizing a lot of the stuff that's been weighing Cobalt down lately, too. It takes him a few moments to respond.]
It's... hard. It's really hard. I'm struggling with all of this, too.
The line between "forgivable" and "unforgivable" is fuzzy and subjective, but... you don't owe anyone your forgiveness. It's okay to be angry, and sad, and upset. It's normal to feel disappointed when people don't live up to the standards you expect of them. And it's important to act with integrity according to your own beliefs.
I think there's a limit to what we can do as individuals, but that makes it all the more important we do the things we can do. You may not be able to fix the general climate all by yourself, but you can improve the lives of the people around you. Sometimes it's just the smallest gestures of kindness that make all the difference, and make things bearable when they otherwise wouldn't be.
And for what it's worth, I think you improve this place just by being here. You're cool, and easy to get along with, and you have interesting things to say... I feel lucky to know you. You don't have to bring anything else to the table, it's enough just that you're you.
This place makes it impossible to protect our loved ones, no matter how hard we try. But do your best anyway! Protect them when you can! And when you can't, protect their mental health instead. Comfort them when they're sad. Patch their wounds. Bring them food and pat their hair and listen to their worries and show them that you care about them. Because the physical stuff sucks but the emotional wounds are the ones that hit the hardest and last the longest. And as their unitmate, you're in the best position to help them with those things, better than anyone else.
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What's with the branches you were burning? Did something happen with Heart Soldier or Future is Now?
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Nothing happened. They were just starting to stain the trunk. Letting it change colors is punishable by monochromatosis, so I have to be careful about which branches can stay.
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That was a really scary time, wasn't it. But monochromatosis isn't a punishment...
I'm not trying to tell you how to do your job or anything, but doesn't the tree need its branches to stay healthy? It'll die if you remove too many, won't it?
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It's a demon tree. It will be fine regardless. The original Gigas Cedar was also a demon tree, except back home, that was a bad thing.
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[he looks up at the tree...]
...But I don't think that's it. I don't feel anything positive when I look at it. Everywhere is getting colder, and it's getting hard to feel anything at all, but I can still tell that much. If these branches represent connections, like you said... shouldn't I want them? Shouldn't I feel bad when I cut them off?
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Do you feel happier when you cut the branches? Does having fewer of them help you feel stronger or healthier?
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No. But the more there are, the more they feel like a weight on my shoulders.
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...Sometimes when we get hurt, there is an instinct to withdraw into ourselves -- to put up some walls ...to cut ties and limit how much we let ourselves care about others -- so we can protect our feelings from getting hurt again.
I've been struggling with that a lot lately, too.
...If having too many branches makes you unhappy, it's okay to take some down. But I hope that helps free up the resources you need to nurture the branches that bring you solidarity and joy.
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You've been struggling with that?
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But it's not like that, you said? Ah, sorry! Guess I'm just projecting!
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Protecting yourself isn't bad, Cobalt. The easiest choice isn't always the worst one. But to be honest, if I wanted to do that, I'd chop down the tree, trunk and branches and all.
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But even if it hurts sometimes, I still feel like it's worth it to share your life with the people who have earned your trust and respect.
...Sounds like you feel the same way, huh?
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And yeah, when things like that happen, it makes it hard to connect at all. Where do you draw the line between what is unforgivable and what isn't? And if everything can be forgiven, then... what do I do with my own beliefs?
It's getting colder everywhere, and I don't know how to fix it, or if I should try at all.
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It's... hard. It's really hard. I'm struggling with all of this, too.
The line between "forgivable" and "unforgivable" is fuzzy and subjective, but... you don't owe anyone your forgiveness. It's okay to be angry, and sad, and upset. It's normal to feel disappointed when people don't live up to the standards you expect of them. And it's important to act with integrity according to your own beliefs.
I think there's a limit to what we can do as individuals, but that makes it all the more important we do the things we can do. You may not be able to fix the general climate all by yourself, but you can improve the lives of the people around you. Sometimes it's just the smallest gestures of kindness that make all the difference, and make things bearable when they otherwise wouldn't be.
And for what it's worth, I think you improve this place just by being here. You're cool, and easy to get along with, and you have interesting things to say... I feel lucky to know you. You don't have to bring anything else to the table, it's enough just that you're you.
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It doesn't feel like enough. My unitmates keep dying.
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This place makes it impossible to protect our loved ones, no matter how hard we try. But do your best anyway! Protect them when you can! And when you can't, protect their mental health instead. Comfort them when they're sad. Patch their wounds. Bring them food and pat their hair and listen to their worries and show them that you care about them. Because the physical stuff sucks but the emotional wounds are the ones that hit the hardest and last the longest. And as their unitmate, you're in the best position to help them with those things, better than anyone else.
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That's what I've been trying to do. It's part of what I do here.
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