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Capitalism, Ho!: BAD END=DEAD END
[ Everything fades to black...and you awaken in a run-down one-room shack, with the distinct feeling that the people around you are your family, if you didn't already have such a bond with them.
You're wearing raggedy versions of your clothes, and a newspaper informs you that you are currently in %COUNTRYNAME%, in the year %CONTEMPORARY%. The newspaper is otherwise actually fairly unhelpful, aside from something detailing a recent high-profile murder having been solved: despite confusion on the part of the authorities conducting the initial investigation, it turns out the victim had been tragically murdered via gun in the knife.
What do you do? ]
You're wearing raggedy versions of your clothes, and a newspaper informs you that you are currently in %COUNTRYNAME%, in the year %CONTEMPORARY%. The newspaper is otherwise actually fairly unhelpful, aside from something detailing a recent high-profile murder having been solved: despite confusion on the part of the authorities conducting the initial investigation, it turns out the victim had been tragically murdered via gun in the knife.
What do you do? ]
YEAR 1
SET YOUR BUDGET.
Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300
LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS
Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
CURRENT JOB - COAL MINER. YEARLY INCOME - 1800 MONIES.
Will you pay taxes this year?
Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.
Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.
Fine. Who needs a godsdamn house, anyway?
BUDGET TURN-IN
Re: BUDGET TURN-IN
EVENT 1
Re: EVENT 1
EVENT 2
Re: EVENT 2
[On the other hand, he's a miner and has presumably in this scenario knows the right way to do it.]
[...on the OTHER other hand, there might be gold or something ridiculous in the new area unearthed by the explosion.]
[On the other other OTHER hand, this could potentially flood the mine.]
Re: EVENT 2
EVENT TURN IN
Re: EVENT TURN IN
Event 2: He'll make sure himself and all of the other workers are out of the mine before detonating the dynamite.
Re: EVENT TURN IN
YEAR 2
Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300
LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS
Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
CURRENT JOB - COAL MINER. YEARLY INCOME - 1800 MONIES.
Will you pay taxes this year?
SET YOUR BUDGET.
Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300
LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS
Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
CURRENT JOB - COAL MINER. YEARLY INCOME - 1800 MONIES.
BUDGET TURN-IN
Re: BUDGET TURN-IN
Okay, that leaves me with:
Food: 900
Medicine: 200
Clothes: 300
...and fuck it, if my asshole boss actually keeps me on and follows through on his end of the bargain, I'll buy some books to try and learn more about how to keep this shitty mine doing its thing. So:
Books: 100
That leaves me with 700 left over.
EVENT 1
FIREFLY has suffered a SERIOUS CONCUSSION.
(You do not need to respond to this event.)
Re: EVENT 1
EVENT 2
Re: EVENT 2
[...but he definitely promised Cobalt he'd try and stop doing stupid things in games that are likely to get him killed. So. In the interest of keeping that promise, a couple of long, slow deep breaths and some actual thought about strategy.]
EVENT 3
Re: EVENT 3
[Fuck. This. Asshole. Also.]
[This makes TWO PEOPLE in one day he did not just punch out. You'd better be proud, Cobalt.]
EVENT TURN IN
Re: EVENT TURN IN
Instead, I tell my boss that I'll accept the promotion, keep working for him and making his mine make a killing, and agree not to stake a claim of my own, provided he uses his rich asshole connections to make my tax problems go away and lets me stay rent-free on company property. I'll even be diplomatic and shit. Can he afford to lose me, etc, etc. I've saved him thousands in machinery repairs already and made him a small fortune in gold. It's more than worth his while to keep me around; I've done nothing but good for his company so far.
If he tries to negotiate, I'll let myself be talked down from the free housing.
Re: EVENT TURN IN
Well, you get to live in a mine so that's pretty cool? And you get a nice promotion?
YEAR 3
SET YOUR BUDGET.
Housing - 0
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300
LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS
Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) - 1
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
CURRENT JOB - GOLD MINER +1. YEARLY INCOME - 2200 MONIES.
HAPPINESS: 20
Do you pay your taxes?
BUDGET TURN-IN
Re: BUDGET TURN-IN
Housing - 0
Food - 900
Medicine - 0 - what the fuck am I paying for money for medicine for, if I'm going to see the doctor?
Clothing - 300
Doctor - 300
1500
Let me throw in a couple more books so I can try to improve this shitshow of a mine. Make it livable and more productive and shit.
Books (3) - 300
Savings: 1,200
EVENT 1
And, like, if those people recruit people? You get a cut of their sales, too! It's way better than gold! Waaaay better!
What do you do?
Re: EVENT 1
EVENT 2
Re: EVENT 2
This is cause I'm living in a godsdamn coal mine, isn't it.
EVENT TURN IN
Re: EVENT TURN IN
Event 2: Fine, I pay the fucking doctor 300. [COUGH COUGH COUGH] But like fuck I'm paying for medicine on top of that. What the fuck is the medicine fund even for, if it's not going to fix my cough?
I read my extra books so I can try to improve this shitshow of a mine. Make it livable and more productive and shit. One of them's a law book, and with that one I read up on tax law.
I find the fucking tax loophole I've been looking for and file a metric fuckton of paperwork to - [COUGH COUGH] - show that I was out of the fucking country for the years they think they don't have tax payments for me. Tell them that the address they had on file was bullshit, because who the fuck has good records in the early industrial era anyway? I tell them that - [COUGH COUGH COUGH] - I'll be back in the country next year, and I'll start paying taxes again then.
Re: EVENT TURN IN
But you pay the doctor, and he tells you you have TUBERCULOSIS.
He gives you some medicine to take for it. You still have a REALLY BAD COUGH but you're not dying, so that's cool.
The tax bureau doesn't really want to bother arguing, it's 300 fucking monies holy shit
The mine advances! You gain another promotion.
YEAR 4
SET YOUR BUDGET.
Housing - 0
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300
LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS
Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) - 4 UNITS
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
CURRENT JOB - GOLD MINER +2. YEARLY INCOME - 2400 MONIES.
HAPPINESS: 100
Nobody wants to ask you about taxes anymore.
BUDGET TURN-IN
Re: BUDGET TURN-IN
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300
Doctor - 300 - Guess I'd better keep it up if I've got fucking tuberculosis.
Books - 300
2,000
With 1,600 leftover to go into savings.
EVENT 1
Do you kill the mine owner and take his shit? You could. He trusts you.
Don't you want...to own the world? Don't you...? Look...at the shinies...
Re: EVENT 1
EVENT TURN IN
Re: EVENT TURN IN
And I absolutely don't fucking kill my boss, because why the actual fuck.
Instead, I'm going to - [COUGH COUGH] - float the idea that he could use an accountant. I'm pretty good with funds, he's got a fuck of a lot of money that could probably use keeping track of - [COUGH, COUGH] - and this cough's not getting any better in a coal mine.
...if he's got company property that's not in the mine itself so I can relocate, I won't say no to that, either.
Re: EVENT TURN IN
END GAME.
At least you're alive, though. Isn't that all that matters? You're alive, and you're fed.
Proceed to ENDGAME.