Capitalism, Hey!: BARiTONES

[idolpro]

[ Everything fades to black...and you awaken in a run-down one-room shack, with the distinct feeling that the people around you are your family, if you didn't already have such a bond with them.

You're wearing raggedy versions of your uniform, and a newspaper informs you that you are currently in %COUNTRYNAME%, in the year %CONTEMPORARY%. The newspaper is otherwise actually fairly unhelpful, aside from something detailing a recent high-profile murder having been solved: despite confusion on the part of the authorities conducting the initial investigation, it turns out the victim had been tragically murdered via gun in the knife.

What do you do? ]

Comments

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[justicebewon]

I'm starting a gang.

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[purrrnicious]

[This is a new exciting form of suffering.]

. . .How is that going to help? Let's just buy more food!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[justicebewon]

Yeah? And then what, starve more when we're out of it? Get strung up by the cops when they find out what we did or just need a scapegoat for the crime?

I'm not waiting for someone else to enforce their justice. I'm taking what I want. We get horses, people, weapons, we start racketeering and working on the black market, we get money, we're untouchable.

Got a problem with that, Commander?

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[purrrnicious]

––What? I don't even know half of what you're talking about!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[justicebewon]

Then stand the fuck back and let me do it!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[purrrnicious]

Fine! I'll deal with the stupid cops, you handle that stuff, and we'll be. . . we'll be fine! Okay?

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[justicebewon]

Of course we'll be fine.

[ there's just. a giggle at that. ]

We're always fine when it's not up to luck.

[syckophant]

... We might as well.

It's that or maybe.... [No, they aren't desperate enough for- nevermind Eichi is hungry that makes him 100% desperate enough for anything.] ...Prostitution.

[purrrnicious]

Prosti-what?

[justicebewon]

...You know that place I died fighting at?

[purrrnicious]

Uh, no, I didn't recognize it at all.

[syckophant]

People who sell sex, Kohime-chan~

It is the oldest profession, and while it's illegal, it can still be quite... lucrative.

[purrrnicious]

What? No.

[syckophant]

I can do it. It can't be hard, right? Just think of something nice.

Like a burger.

[purrrnicious]

No!

Look, we need to be the ones in charge –– that way we'll be safe! Instead of crawling around the stupid mine we should own it. Let's just blame the mine owner for the land-guy disappearing and then take over his job.

[syckophant]

You know, if our landlord turned up dead at our place of work that would almost guarantee wed be convicted. That's a no-go. They would need to have a link other than us.

[purrrnicious]

[Snaps her tail. She was fucking skinny already this sucks.



. . .Maybe it's time to hunt rats again. . .]

Okay, I was thinking with a little more finesse than dumping a dead guy in a mine.

[lefthandpath]

Ah... I'll volunteer the members who aren't dirty miners for that.

[flopping over on the ground because this sucks]

Though we could also just get dressed up and get better jobs.

[and by "we", he means the people with the ACTUAL FANCY OUTFITS]

[syckophant]

I got it. I can do it. If I don't eat something soon I'm going to lose my mind.

[Getting a real job sounds awful, why can't we be a gang and/or prostitutes? No interview necessary.]

Otherwise I don't know, the only marketable skill I have is... performance.

[lefthandpath]

Trust me. Long as you look nice n' sell that you're higher-bred than this shit, then they'll probably hire you for most anythin'.

[or he thinks. but also he's really bad off with the whole starving thing. ARE THERE ANY RATS LEFT TO EAT? I MEAN SERIOUSLY?]

[syckophant]

I've looked nicer.

[EMACIATED IS A BAD LOOK and Eichi is GRUMPY.]

[lefthandpath]

Consider your audience.

[he was already emaciated lbr. he's like a walking skeleton sometimes... god he's so hungry... people are looking like viable meat sources...]

[syckophant]

[Disgusting.

And people are always meat sources.]

I have a nice face, it's true.

[lefthandpath]

Haa--exactly. Look nice, talk fast. Get better paying job.

[syckophant]

What kind of a job do you think? I've got fancy clothes and I'm good at looking nice and talking fast, but terrible at menial labor.

...I've never needed a job............