idolpro | Shrike's Heart (#4)

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!heart games

Shrike's Heart (#4)

The woman before you is beautiful—fair of features, with lovely golden skin and luxurious long black hair, petite. You have the immediate and distinct impression that she's just let go of your hand, and she steps back, and smiles.

It's not quite a happy smile.

"I'm sorry," she says. "There's just nothing I can do, as things are. But the way is there; it just needs to be lit."

You open your mouth—maybe to say something, or to express confusion—but you have to cough, and taste something metallic, spattering black blood onto the ground in front of you. Then you realize—blood seeps from opening wounds in your arms, your chest, your stomach, your face. It rims your eyes and trails from your nose and you feel like you're dissolving—

—and you fall through the ground like it's the surface of a lake, and go down, down, down.

> Wake Up

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[ She winces, and grits her teeth through the boot slamming into her fingers—she only makes the barest sound, even so. The sword clattering into the water makes an impossibly loud, reverberating sound in the space, and she winces again even as she lunges to try and pick it up. ]

Nn—

[ there's still tears welling up in her eyes, and she can't seem to meet anyone's gaze. ]

I thought I could, but... look upon my inner self and the void meets your eyes. I can't—undo, what's done. The choice I made. Why do people keep thinking I'm good.

Edited 2020-03-11 02:17 (UTC)

[ When Cobalt moved between him and Shrike, Eclipse only had alarm. Why do people do this! That sword isn't to be taken lightly so don't just shield him like that --

He has to focus on Persephone's voice so he doesn't lose his cool instantly. He doesn't take out his knives yet, despite everything, because he doesn't want to fight? (And his hind brain reminds him, when you pull out a weapon you're either bluffing very hard or you mean to use it.) ]

Because you're trying? I -- we know what you've done, but despite all that, you're still trying. Even if you can't change what you've already done.

[ surely as a soldier she knows that, too, right? that the rules of engagement with deadly weapons are that the conflict may be deadly. surely she knows that they'll protect you, right?

so why does she pick up the sword again? ]

...I just want to set things right. Make things the way they should be. It was easier when I didn't care if...

Maybe choices can't be undone, but that doesn't mean you can't make different ones. That you can't choose a different path to walk.[and back to singing. spending the willpower again to try to reach her heart. still not drawing his sword, but still has the parasol close to hand, just in case.]

[ she adjusts her grip on her sword, and makes an attempt at screwing her face into a look of determination, but really she just looks... haggard.

she looks between all of them, turning something over in her head, and... flinching away, a little bit, from Persephone. ]

...why does everyone have to be so kind. If you all.. if you all keep doing that, I'll... I'll start to think...

...think that maybe it'd be nice, to be alive—

[ maybe it's one last burst of speed she has in her, but she has good reach with this sword—trying one more time to swing for Eclipse. ]

[Cobalt's been tense as a coiled spring this whole time, and when she makes a move toward Eclipse he explodes, striking out reflexively with the force to sever her arm from her body — barely manages to change his aim at the last second to strike her sword instead.

1 willpower to parry]

[the impossibly loud clash of metal is still ringing on and on in the void, probably]

—You have a future, Shrike! Your past doesn't own you any more — you're free now, to pursue the things you always hoped for.

You are loved...!

[ it's almost too loud to bear, as Cobalt parries, metal strikes metal, and Shrike's sword—shatters— ]

I know, I know, and I...

[ she collapses to her knees, with a quiet splash into the low water, steadying herself with her hands. ]

...I can't stand it.

Not everyone will forgive me. Even if I devote the rest of my life to fixing things—why should I get to have this, when I sentenced so many to an untimely death...

[ she leans down, and offers her a hand ]

Stand up.

Life is a precious thing, but it is work, too.
It isn't about forgiveness, and it isn't about who "gets" to have it either. It is about knowing that the work is worth doing.

[ she wipes the damp from her face with her sleeve, and hesitates a few beats before looking down at her knees—and then taking Amaranth's hand, and pulling herself up despite the unsteadiness in her legs. ]

...sorry. To all of you.

I thought, if I could convince you to kill me, but...

Every one of us loves you. And that means we want you t'live.

[Griffin takes her other hand and clasps it firmly in his own, warm and solid and real for her to hang onto.]

After all... "love endures."

...you remembered. Of course you would.

[ a few more tears squeeze out of the corners of her eyes, but it's not the despairing sort of crying that came from her before, and she holds his hand tight. ]

I just... I don't know what happens to someone who tears their own fate and their own name out of the world.

...whatever happens, you will not face it alone.

[ she sniffles a little, and squeezes the tears from the corners of her eyes. ]

Mm. I'm—sorry, that it has to be like this for you, too, but...

I'm... glad. Still, that we have each other in this. I hope that's all right.

It's going to take more than that to chase us off.

We've all been given a chance to start over, and create the kind of life we want. That goes especially for you.

If you didn't like your fate before, then tear from it with no regrets. We'll be here to support you.

I don't want to start over, I think. That feels wrong, too, just... to be able to leave things around me... better. Somehow. To not feel like I'm an open wound in the world.

...I feel less like that around all of you, though, I think. So... thank you.

It isn't just us.

I am glad to know—honored, really—that I have made a difference to you.
But the changes you have made are the results of your own labor. [ a pause; very slightly wry ] For what other reason could I respect them?

After all this you're going to make me blush, Amaranth.

But I... know you mean it. It means the world to me, so... I'll endeavor to do that respect proud.

[ A lot of things have been said, and a lot of them do echo Eclipse's feelings on the matter. He isn't sure if there is much of anything else for him to add. ]

Everyone already said things, so...

...I'm glad that you chose to live.

[ she approaches him, this time without her sword, and—

ruffles his hair before wrapping him in a hug. ]

Thank you... thank for wanting me to.

So I'll do my best to keep choosing it every day, all right?

Once, there were...
...shadows in the window.
...footsteps at the gates of life.
...whispering at the door:
"Should I live or die? Am I living or dead?"
"To know the world is to choose it," says the Void.

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Shrike's Heart (#4)

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cw suicidal ideation, also sorry tiny boy you are convenient for making a point,

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THE END