idolpro | The Last Supper

Entry tags:

- exael

The Last Supper - sensitIV

[ The elevator lets you out into a private room: from the decor, it is doubtlessly an enclave of the restaurant you saw earlier on screen.

Your phones have filled with a rather sizable rule list. ]

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[ I don't like how you reacted

immediately closing in on himself, elbows tight against his body as he turns to go talk to marigold instead I need to go I need to not be here ]

Is that how you see yourself...?

[ and then marigold went instead of me aaaaaa ]

..... You already know.

[ a sort of, not question but not firm enough to be a statement either, distinctly hollow ]

You're not a monster.

How can you say that, with what you know?

[a little haltingly:]

I don't... know the full story. Of what happened in that house, or after. But, looking back on it, I saw how badly it affected you. I'm seeing... how much the trauma's still twisting you up inside even now. How much you want to protect others from the same experience.

How could I think you're a monster?

Do you suggest that what I've done could possibly be forgiven!? Because of something like guilt!?!

I-- yes? You weren't in your right mind. And then, afterwards, you can't just expect trauma like that to go away...

[ honestly looking paler to talk about it at all ]

. . . It isn't a burden for you to forgive, anyway.

[ his voice is tight, and he shakes his head. like honestly those are true points but also what if I hate myself forever instead ]

Regardless - I won't do that to another.

It's not, but... it's something I think at least someone should say to you.

. . . Forgive me for disbelieving your words.

[firmly:]

You can disbelieve all you want. They're still true.

[ closes his eyes ]

Then I'll disbelieve you.

Lucifel.

[that's fine, he'll get a truth potion after this is all over,]

. . . It isn't as if I think you're lying, but how could I accept that?

I don't understand.

[ quieter, fingers flexing into his stomach again ]

. . . How could I begin to forgive myself?

[therapy]

It won't... be easy. But accepting that it wasn't your fault...

. . . It was by my own hand, Anubis-san.

[ quieter, but full of emotion ]

With this mouth . . . with this tongue, with these teeth, with this throat! I did something so despicable - not for any other reason than loneliness, a twisted thought that I could - somehow, that it would be acceptable for me to . . . take and keep a part of someone like this -

[ his voice breaks, fingers twisted in his gut to the point of pain ]

The fault is mine alone. The responsibility of such an unforgivable deed lies on this monster - there isn't anyone else who justly deserves such a burden.

[grabs Lucifel's wrists, tugging at them -- not that he's even remotely a match for Lucifel's strength, but.]

And if any of us did the same... would we be monsters? Would you think we were unforgivable?

[ too tightly wounded to let him pull, hunched over ]

. . . It isn't in my place to forgive you.

[ but he does speak again after a moment ]

I could . . . only accept you as you are.

[ with a shake of his head ]

But - you mustn't. If you can avoid it, you mustn't.

[puts his arms around Lucifel instead, then. but he doesn't say anything.]

[ stiff, but at least he doesn't smell good ,-, his head drops to anubis' shoulder after a moment ]

[unitmates are friends, not food. he just holds him.]

[ he doesn't relax against him, but he does start to shake a little - like he might cry, or he's holding it back, or something along those lines. his voice is thick ]

. . . S. . . sorry. . . my apologies. I know I'm being unreasonable. . .

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rollwillpowercheck - 2018-10-20 14:25 (UTC) - Expand

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sancrimony - 2018-10-20 21:46 (UTC) - Expand

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