But I was born Towa Herschel, in the city of Heimdallr. I don’t remember my parents well-- they were scholars who had to travel often for their work, and they died when their airship crashed. I was about six at the time. But I still had my grandfather. He was the curator of the museum and an astrologist. I admired him a lot and he shared with me his love of the stars.
I enrolled at Thors Military Academy despite the fact that I don’t like fighting. But in a world where fighting is inevitable, I wanted to do something with my life that would help minimize the suffering in those times. I wanted to become self-sufficient and independent so my remaining family didn’t have to worry about me.
I’m not sure how well I do. I think I make people worry more, trying to do things on my own so much.
During my second year at school, I became the Student Council President-- someone who’s support people relied on. I don’t know how successful I was, but Rean seemed to think I was good at what I did. I don’t think I always felt the same but…
I find myself putting a lot of pressure on myself, and doubting my skills a lot. I can see the potential and skills in others, but it’s not nearly so easy when I’m looking inward. There are a lot of parts of myself that I’m not satisfied with-- some I can work on and some that are probably hopeless. Physically I’m always going to be small and have terrible proportions but-- I figure at least what I’m capable of doing… my skills… that’s something I can control. So I push myself as hard as I can.
When I went to Crossbell to assist with the Trade Conference, a terrorist attack on Orchis Tower, orchestrated by Crow’s Liberation Front, caused the tower to collapse and I nearly died. When I came to, all my memories were gone.
But the people of Crossbell were very kind to me. They gave me the name “Adalaide” and I was allowed to enroll and eventually graduate from the Crossbell Police Academy. The Special Support Section accepted me, even though I had so very little experience. And they were nothing but kind to me, like a small family of their own.
There’s still a lot of things I don’t remember, but I do know this-- I’ve been through a lot of difficult times. Even so, I feel extremely blessed to think about all the people who I’ve met and who have supported me this far. The same goes for BAD END = DEAD END. I couldn’t have chosen a more wonderful and more supportive group of people to be a part of. I want to find the thing that I, Serenity Aslind, can do to help them and give it my all. Because they deserve that and a lot more.
His real name is Crow Armbrust, although I try not to use the name "Crow" in front of the others. He said it was fine if it was me, but I think it's something he still struggles with personally.
We were classmates in Thors Military Academy-- two of the four who tested the curriculum that Class VII would use a year later. My memories are still hazy on a lot of things, but I do know that he and the other two in that class were extremely precious friends, who were incredibly important to me.
There's a lot of Ordine's history that I don't know about. But I know that it's made him feel like he's less of a person for it. I couldn't possibly disagree more. Although it's fairly clear we don't come from the same time or maybe even the same world-- everything I've seen has proved to me without a doubt that he's still every bit the Crow Armbrust I knew.
Crow Armbrust, to me, is one of my dearest friends. And I loved him dearly.
Even now though, I wonder if he really believes that. I don't know how to prove it. We've been through a lot together. But all of those memories, even the painful ones, are irreplaceable parts of my heart. And I'm grateful to have had him be a part of it.
Now... I am his Awakener. And with that, comes a great deal of responsibility. I don't want him to ever regret making that choice-- even if I'm sure he would have been happier if Rean would have accepted his offer first instead of telling him to choose me first. I can't afford to let him down. If something happens to me, then it could affect him too. I'm sure Rean wouldn't let anything happen to him, but... I'd never forgive myself if something happened to him because of me.
Because friend, knight, lover... whatever you want to call it...
Crow Armbrust-- I love him. And I want to stay by his side as long as he'll allow me.
Sashay is a whirlwind-- a true force of nature. I couldn’t help but be pulled in from the first moment I met them. I wasn’t sure how to take some of the things they said at first, but I think in truth they’re very earnest and honest.
Even though they seem to want to be loved, to tell them that you do, they’re surprised and think that’s foolish. But I suppose coming from someone who was just as surprised when they said they were interested in me, I can’t judge them too harshly for not seeing what I see in them. But I don’t think I’m wrong, and I don’t think it’s foolish.
Sashay is Sashay. “Beast” or whatever, that doesn’t matter to me.
“I do have to kill you some day. Even if I save you for last.” That’s what they told me. Even so-- the way they spoke about it, I knew those words were heavy for them.
I feel like there’s a great deal about them I don’t know, or don’t understand properly. However, as much as I want to know more about them because I care for them, I don’t really think that something like that is necessary in order to love someone. I know the kind of person that they are and that’s enough for me. I just hope that I can help support them in some way, so that they don’t have to continue carrying the weight of a sad past or an even bleaker future alone.
Phoenix… or, as I know him, Rean Schwarzer. There are a lot of feelings here-- maybe more than I have for any other person.
He was my first love. I’m sure of that.
When we first met, he was one year my underclassmen. Because I was the Student Council President, I was helping out with orientation, so I checked everyone in as they arrived. That was the first time I met him. From there, it became clear that he spent a lot of his extra time helping the Student Council-- helping me-- with our work load.
Before I left to come to Crossbell for the Trade Conference, I was nervous as could possibly be. I didn’t know what I could possibly do as a student to help at such a large, important event. Rean was the one who helped me gather the books I needed for my preparations and he gave me the confidence boost I needed. Of course, he was speaking as just another student but-- hearing it from him meant so much to me.
I knew then that I had it pretty bad.
Of course, I never came back from Crossbell. I nearly died and lost my memories. Even now it’s hazy how much time passed between then and when we finally met again. But as soon as I remembered, he was the first person I looked for. I had missed so much… and left him to face so many things on his own. I felt so guilty.
But when I saw him again I was just… so happy.
He told me it would all be fine. That I’d come back and--
I had to tell him that I wasn’t. And that was the most painful thing I ever forced myself to do. I wanted to tell him. That I loved him. That I’d come back. But… it didn’t feel fair to say that after admitting we’d be apart for who knows how much longer.
Even now, I can’t bring myself to tell him.
But every time we’re together he says something that makes my heart race or makes me feel like I’m just going to explode. I’m hopeless. I want to tell him, but I don’t want him to feel pressured to return those feelings. He’s been through so much without me. I don’t expect him to feel the same way. But… I would like him to know. Someday.
To say that I’m entirely happy to see him here wouldn’t be true at all. I haven’t forgotten his connections to Chancellor Osborne or Crossbell City.
But I also know that it’s not fair for me to judge him entirely on that information. I don’t know his circumstances or how things came to be… or even where they will end. There’s a lot I don’t know. And I know that it’s hard for me to look at that without some form of bias, as much as I want to be impartial.
I have not forgotten that it was thanks to him that we learned just what it was that Crow was hiding from Rean and I-- how we were able to help him. So for that, at the very least, I owe him a great deal.
So I am going to watch him. I can’t let my guard down just yet-- but I will give him a chance to show me what it is he intends to do. I hope that my fears are wrong and that he can be trusted. I want to trust him. But I don’t want my naivety to cause more people to get hurt either.
Not when the ones most likely to get hurt are the ones I love the most.
The Special Support Section… I don’t think I can properly put into words just how grateful I am to them for all they’ve done for me since the incident at Orchis Tower. They gave me a way forward when everything seemed dark and I was lost.
And even when I faltered, they still treated me as a part of their important family.
That’s why… I can’t help but feel guilty for feeling as conflicted as I do. After everything they’ve done for me, to say that I don’t know where I belong… that’s incredibly unfair of me. I owe them more than I can possibly repay.
I didn’t know that Lance-- that Randy-- was someone I’d known before, when I first met him. He was just this really sweet, really kind person who helped me up when I tripped and made me dinner… Even before I realized it, he was someone incredibly charming that I wanted to get to know better. He brought me flowers and lunch and--
If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought he was flirting with me even then. Well-- I won’t say it’s impossible, but…
Well. I guess I just can’t wrap my head around why. I feel like every time we’ve been together I’ve been an embarrassing mess.
I didn’t remember that I knew Randy until after he left again. I was kind of crushed. I missed him a lot. I wanted to try and write but-- I didn’t know what to say. Especially if he didn’t remember me. I didn’t know if it was really fair of me to admit that. Or if he’d even remember the same things.
But before I had much time to think about it, he came back and-- he remembered. I won’t deny that I was really happy to hear him say my name. Just having him back means a lot to me. I don’t want to waste the time I have with him. Not… that I haven’t continued to embarrass myself.
Because of that-- I don’t know if he really knows how important he is to me. But I want to say it properly someday. He’s just as important to me as the other people I love.
[ There are a few honorable mentions for ZRAEL-- ]
Doodleman-- He gave me a star once and told me he'd kill me, but I never got the sense that it was personal. He's always been open to talking to me, even though our units haven't always had the best of relations. I apologized to him once and he really didn't seem bothered by the choices our unit made, even though they suffered because of them. I would like to get to know him better. For some reason, he reminds me a little of Sashay.
Glory-- No one was really pleased with us during the Princess Maker game, but she seemed frustrated. She doesn't seem to have taken it personal, although I know we caused them unnecessary trouble. She was the one who taught me about Christmas. She seems like an earnest young woman. And I think it would be nice to learn more from her. She seems like she knows a lot about baking.
Sabre-- Although she was the one who told ZRAEL to condemn our unit during the sins game, I don't particularly hold it against her. I had an emotional bond with her for a while during another game and-- I think she's a really relatable person. I hope we can be friends someday. And I'm glad that things ended on the note they did. I think Wednesday and Hiryuu made her feel better.
Wataru-- Although he's already graduated, I got to speak with Wataru a few times and I'll really miss his presence around here. He was always a bit odd... but there was always something very sweet and endearing about his theatrics. It was nice seeing him come back to run a fun game. I hope he's doing well.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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My name is Serenity Aslind.
But I was born Towa Herschel, in the city of Heimdallr. I don’t remember my parents well-- they were scholars who had to travel often for their work, and they died when their airship crashed. I was about six at the time. But I still had my grandfather. He was the curator of the museum and an astrologist. I admired him a lot and he shared with me his love of the stars.
I enrolled at Thors Military Academy despite the fact that I don’t like fighting. But in a world where fighting is inevitable, I wanted to do something with my life that would help minimize the suffering in those times. I wanted to become self-sufficient and independent so my remaining family didn’t have to worry about me.
I’m not sure how well I do. I think I make people worry more, trying to do things on my own so much.
During my second year at school, I became the Student Council President-- someone who’s support people relied on. I don’t know how successful I was, but Rean seemed to think I was good at what I did. I don’t think I always felt the same but…
I find myself putting a lot of pressure on myself, and doubting my skills a lot. I can see the potential and skills in others, but it’s not nearly so easy when I’m looking inward. There are a lot of parts of myself that I’m not satisfied with-- some I can work on and some that are probably hopeless. Physically I’m always going to be small and have terrible proportions but-- I figure at least what I’m capable of doing… my skills… that’s something I can control. So I push myself as hard as I can.
When I went to Crossbell to assist with the Trade Conference, a terrorist attack on Orchis Tower, orchestrated by Crow’s Liberation Front, caused the tower to collapse and I nearly died. When I came to, all my memories were gone.
But the people of Crossbell were very kind to me. They gave me the name “Adalaide” and I was allowed to enroll and eventually graduate from the Crossbell Police Academy. The Special Support Section accepted me, even though I had so very little experience. And they were nothing but kind to me, like a small family of their own.
There’s still a lot of things I don’t remember, but I do know this-- I’ve been through a lot of difficult times. Even so, I feel extremely blessed to think about all the people who I’ve met and who have supported me this far. The same goes for BAD END = DEAD END. I couldn’t have chosen a more wonderful and more supportive group of people to be a part of. I want to find the thing that I, Serenity Aslind, can do to help them and give it my all. Because they deserve that and a lot more.
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she's so good???
she's so good.
>ordine]
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Ordine...
His real name is Crow Armbrust, although I try not to use the name "Crow" in front of the others. He said it was fine if it was me, but I think it's something he still struggles with personally.
We were classmates in Thors Military Academy-- two of the four who tested the curriculum that Class VII would use a year later. My memories are still hazy on a lot of things, but I do know that he and the other two in that class were extremely precious friends, who were incredibly important to me.
There's a lot of Ordine's history that I don't know about. But I know that it's made him feel like he's less of a person for it. I couldn't possibly disagree more. Although it's fairly clear we don't come from the same time or maybe even the same world-- everything I've seen has proved to me without a doubt that he's still every bit the Crow Armbrust I knew.
Crow Armbrust, to me, is one of my dearest friends. And I loved him dearly.
Even now though, I wonder if he really believes that. I don't know how to prove it. We've been through a lot together. But all of those memories, even the painful ones, are irreplaceable parts of my heart. And I'm grateful to have had him be a part of it.
Now... I am his Awakener. And with that, comes a great deal of responsibility. I don't want him to ever regret making that choice-- even if I'm sure he would have been happier if Rean would have accepted his offer first instead of telling him to choose me first. I can't afford to let him down. If something happens to me, then it could affect him too. I'm sure Rean wouldn't let anything happen to him, but... I'd never forgive myself if something happened to him because of me.
Because friend, knight, lover... whatever you want to call it...
Crow Armbrust-- I love him. And I want to stay by his side as long as he'll allow me.
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sashay next]
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Sashay is a whirlwind-- a true force of nature. I couldn’t help but be pulled in from the first moment I met them. I wasn’t sure how to take some of the things they said at first, but I think in truth they’re very earnest and honest.
Even though they seem to want to be loved, to tell them that you do, they’re surprised and think that’s foolish. But I suppose coming from someone who was just as surprised when they said they were interested in me, I can’t judge them too harshly for not seeing what I see in them. But I don’t think I’m wrong, and I don’t think it’s foolish.
Sashay is Sashay. “Beast” or whatever, that doesn’t matter to me.
“I do have to kill you some day. Even if I save you for last.” That’s what they told me. Even so-- the way they spoke about it, I knew those words were heavy for them.
I feel like there’s a great deal about them I don’t know, or don’t understand properly. However, as much as I want to know more about them because I care for them, I don’t really think that something like that is necessary in order to love someone. I know the kind of person that they are and that’s enough for me. I just hope that I can help support them in some way, so that they don’t have to continue carrying the weight of a sad past or an even bleaker future alone.
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Phoenix... ]
Phoenix… or, as I know him, Rean Schwarzer. There are a lot of feelings here-- maybe more than I have for any other person.
He was my first love. I’m sure of that.
When we first met, he was one year my underclassmen. Because I was the Student Council President, I was helping out with orientation, so I checked everyone in as they arrived. That was the first time I met him. From there, it became clear that he spent a lot of his extra time helping the Student Council-- helping me-- with our work load.
Before I left to come to Crossbell for the Trade Conference, I was nervous as could possibly be. I didn’t know what I could possibly do as a student to help at such a large, important event. Rean was the one who helped me gather the books I needed for my preparations and he gave me the confidence boost I needed. Of course, he was speaking as just another student but-- hearing it from him meant so much to me.
I knew then that I had it pretty bad.
Of course, I never came back from Crossbell. I nearly died and lost my memories. Even now it’s hazy how much time passed between then and when we finally met again. But as soon as I remembered, he was the first person I looked for. I had missed so much… and left him to face so many things on his own. I felt so guilty.
But when I saw him again I was just… so happy.
He told me it would all be fine. That I’d come back and--
I had to tell him that I wasn’t. And that was the most painful thing I ever forced myself to do. I wanted to tell him. That I loved him. That I’d come back. But… it didn’t feel fair to say that after admitting we’d be apart for who knows how much longer.
Even now, I can’t bring myself to tell him.
But every time we’re together he says something that makes my heart race or makes me feel like I’m just going to explode. I’m hopeless. I want to tell him, but I don’t want him to feel pressured to return those feelings. He’s been through so much without me. I don’t expect him to feel the same way. But… I would like him to know. Someday.
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[putting taisho back, though. ZRAEL! Rufus feelios, please.]
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Rufus Albarea… Ophania…
To say that I’m entirely happy to see him here wouldn’t be true at all. I haven’t forgotten his connections to Chancellor Osborne or Crossbell City.
But I also know that it’s not fair for me to judge him entirely on that information. I don’t know his circumstances or how things came to be… or even where they will end. There’s a lot I don’t know. And I know that it’s hard for me to look at that without some form of bias, as much as I want to be impartial.
I have not forgotten that it was thanks to him that we learned just what it was that Crow was hiding from Rean and I-- how we were able to help him. So for that, at the very least, I owe him a great deal.
So I am going to watch him. I can’t let my guard down just yet-- but I will give him a chance to show me what it is he intends to do. I hope that my fears are wrong and that he can be trusted. I want to trust him. But I don’t want my naivety to cause more people to get hurt either.
Not when the ones most likely to get hurt are the ones I love the most.
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checks
himself 'x']
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The Special Support Section… I don’t think I can properly put into words just how grateful I am to them for all they’ve done for me since the incident at Orchis Tower. They gave me a way forward when everything seemed dark and I was lost.
And even when I faltered, they still treated me as a part of their important family.
That’s why… I can’t help but feel guilty for feeling as conflicted as I do. After everything they’ve done for me, to say that I don’t know where I belong… that’s incredibly unfair of me. I owe them more than I can possibly repay.
I didn’t know that Lance-- that Randy-- was someone I’d known before, when I first met him. He was just this really sweet, really kind person who helped me up when I tripped and made me dinner… Even before I realized it, he was someone incredibly charming that I wanted to get to know better. He brought me flowers and lunch and--
If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought he was flirting with me even then. Well-- I won’t say it’s impossible, but…
Well. I guess I just can’t wrap my head around why. I feel like every time we’ve been together I’ve been an embarrassing mess.
I didn’t remember that I knew Randy until after he left again. I was kind of crushed. I missed him a lot. I wanted to try and write but-- I didn’t know what to say. Especially if he didn’t remember me. I didn’t know if it was really fair of me to admit that. Or if he’d even remember the same things.
But before I had much time to think about it, he came back and-- he remembered. I won’t deny that I was really happy to hear him say my name. Just having him back means a lot to me. I don’t want to waste the time I have with him. Not… that I haven’t continued to embarrass myself.
Because of that-- I don’t know if he really knows how important he is to me. But I want to say it properly someday. He’s just as important to me as the other people I love.
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sit on this here library floor for a few
...anyone else of note on zrael?]
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Doodleman-- He gave me a star once and told me he'd kill me, but I never got the sense that it was personal. He's always been open to talking to me, even though our units haven't always had the best of relations. I apologized to him once and he really didn't seem bothered by the choices our unit made, even though they suffered because of them. I would like to get to know him better. For some reason, he reminds me a little of Sashay.
Glory-- No one was really pleased with us during the Princess Maker game, but she seemed frustrated. She doesn't seem to have taken it personal, although I know we caused them unnecessary trouble. She was the one who taught me about Christmas. She seems like an earnest young woman. And I think it would be nice to learn more from her. She seems like she knows a lot about baking.
Sabre-- Although she was the one who told ZRAEL to condemn our unit during the sins game, I don't particularly hold it against her. I had an emotional bond with her for a while during another game and-- I think she's a really relatable person. I hope we can be friends someday. And I'm glad that things ended on the note they did. I think Wednesday and Hiryuu made her feel better.
Wataru-- Although he's already graduated, I got to speak with Wataru a few times and I'll really miss his presence around here. He was always a bit odd... but there was always something very sweet and endearing about his theatrics. It was nice seeing him come back to run a fun game. I hope he's doing well.
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carefully putting the zrael book back where it goes!
and leaving the library.]
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Back to the Government District with you! ]