Capitalism, Hey!: BARiTONES

[idolpro]

[ Everything fades to black...and you awaken in a run-down one-room shack, with the distinct feeling that the people around you are your family, if you didn't already have such a bond with them.

You're wearing raggedy versions of your uniform, and a newspaper informs you that you are currently in %COUNTRYNAME%, in the year %CONTEMPORARY%. The newspaper is otherwise actually fairly unhelpful, aside from something detailing a recent high-profile murder having been solved: despite confusion on the part of the authorities conducting the initial investigation, it turns out the victim had been tragically murdered via gun in the knife.

What do you do? ]

Comments

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

HAPPINESS: 120
LUXURIES: 0

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - PANHANDLER. YEARLY INCOME - 500 MONIES.

NEW CRIME ABILITY UNLOCKED: MURDER - Now...you've lost it. You know you can kill. You can take another unit's entire yearly income with this.

But, you know, they die.

Will you pay taxes this year?

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[justicebewon]

[ ROARING ]

I'll fucking kill all of them!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[lefthandpath]

[FOR FUCK'S SAKE.]

One of you give me a goddamn fancy outfit and I'll get a damn job!

[just. for fuck's sake!!]

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[purrrnicious]

We tried that, you jerk! And we don't even have those any more, in case you didn't notice!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[lefthandpath]

You only tried it to get out of a tight spot with the cops! You should've been looking for a better job from the start! Instead of just relying on me in the goddamn mines!

[but okay FAIR ENOUGH WITH THAT SECOND POINT. he's just. so tired! and frustrated!]

We need to keep ourselves fed, first and foremost. We don't have enough to buy food--so we steal or we kill rats and survive that way.

As for the rest, we can invest in whatever gets us the win criteria. Figure out the rest when we get at least food situated!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[purrrnicious]

What, this is my fault?! At least I dealt with the cops! And it had nothing to do with that -- we submitted for all of us looking for jobs after, all of us, even if we didn't get the stupid mine owner's job!

I put in what Ruby wanted and I put in what Eichi wanted and I put in what you wanted, so don't put this on me!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[lefthandpath]

IT WAS A GENERAL YOU!

Stop sulking and get your act together! Do you want to die over something so stupid as not having enough food? Think!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[purrrnicious]

[WELL SHE



IS JUST GONNA TEAR UP

but angrily swipe at her eyes and turn to walk away]

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[lefthandpath]

[UGH.

WHY IS EVERYONE. LIKE THIS.]

If getting a job won't work at this point. Then I'll do it. I'll go out and steal what we need. If I get caught, I get caught--but at least I'll try something! Instead of dwell on how things went wrong!

[syckophant]

Fufufu, playing hard isn't working out for us, is it?

This really sucks.

[justicebewon]

We're not playing hard enough.

[syckophant]

Then......

We should use our ability, shouldn't we?

[purrrnicious]

––No.

[justicebewon]

You're sure fucking soft all of a sudden.

[purrrnicious]

It's not soft, it's not being stupid. Here's how that'll turn out. The game will end, and we'll be the only team that killed another, and they'll come at us harder and faster and all your little friends you've been trying to make will disappear.

Or, we could not randomly murder people when we don't have to and figure another way out of this. How about that?

[justicebewon]

You know, everyone already forgave us for that 22 points you were so scared about. And how do we know there's any way to even figure out who did what here? We got stolen from and it didn't say a thing about who did it.

I'm not going let them keep on fucking with us like this, Koko. You keep saying they'll come harder every time but it's already always hard. So what are you scared of? They'll decide to kill you when they decide to kill you and it doesn't matter whether you've done anything or not, you told me that!

[purrrnicious]

. . .So––so just keep it in the stupid simulation! We don't know that they won't reveal it all at the end, anyway, and taking another team's money isn't gonna fix anything! For all we know, the other unites are stuck at "panhandler" too!

[When did Ruby get so bloodthirsty. . .?]

[lefthandpath]

Unless that ability keeps us from starving drop that thought immediately.

Our immediately crisis is survival.

[justicebewon]

Can't buy food without money.

[lefthandpath]

So then we steal!

Or I will!

[syckophant]

Even if we steal we'll only have 700.

Food takes 900.

Tell me, what else are we doing... to get enough to eat?

[justicebewon]

Yeah, but we gotta do more than just that. Money's not solving this problem alone.

Someone stole from us. I wanna find them.

[ she...pulls out her taserbow. and fires an experimental lightning bolt at the shitty ass roof. ]

We'll take it all back. Report them. If the cops are gonna fuck with us, we'll just become cops. That's justice.

[syckophant]

If you can tell me how you will find out how to find the culprit, then I say go for it.

[justicebewon]

Every crime leaves a trail. Especially if they drove our car through the house. I'll ask around. Threaten who I have to. Track every piece of evidence they left. I have a dumb futuregodweapon. I'll form a moon cult here if I have to to get what I want.

Someone's going to pay.

[syckophant]

[Siiighs...]

Will that really make you happy...?