Capitalism, Hey!: BARiTONES

[idolpro]

[ Everything fades to black...and you awaken in a run-down one-room shack, with the distinct feeling that the people around you are your family, if you didn't already have such a bond with them.

You're wearing raggedy versions of your uniform, and a newspaper informs you that you are currently in %COUNTRYNAME%, in the year %CONTEMPORARY%. The newspaper is otherwise actually fairly unhelpful, aside from something detailing a recent high-profile murder having been solved: despite confusion on the part of the authorities conducting the initial investigation, it turns out the victim had been tragically murdered via gun in the knife.

What do you do? ]

Comments

YEAR 3

[idolpro]

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

HAPPINESS: 120
LUXURIES: 0

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - PANHANDLER. YEARLY INCOME - 500 MONIES.

NEW CRIME ABILITY UNLOCKED: MURDER - Now...you've lost it. You know you can kill. You can take another unit's entire yearly income with this.

But, you know, they die.

Will you pay taxes this year?

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[justicebewon]

[ ROARING ]

I'll fucking kill all of them!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[lefthandpath]

[FOR FUCK'S SAKE.]

One of you give me a goddamn fancy outfit and I'll get a damn job!

[just. for fuck's sake!!]

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[purrrnicious]

We tried that, you jerk! And we don't even have those any more, in case you didn't notice!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[lefthandpath]

You only tried it to get out of a tight spot with the cops! You should've been looking for a better job from the start! Instead of just relying on me in the goddamn mines!

[but okay FAIR ENOUGH WITH THAT SECOND POINT. he's just. so tired! and frustrated!]

We need to keep ourselves fed, first and foremost. We don't have enough to buy food--so we steal or we kill rats and survive that way.

As for the rest, we can invest in whatever gets us the win criteria. Figure out the rest when we get at least food situated!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[purrrnicious]

What, this is my fault?! At least I dealt with the cops! And it had nothing to do with that -- we submitted for all of us looking for jobs after, all of us, even if we didn't get the stupid mine owner's job!

I put in what Ruby wanted and I put in what Eichi wanted and I put in what you wanted, so don't put this on me!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[lefthandpath]

IT WAS A GENERAL YOU!

Stop sulking and get your act together! Do you want to die over something so stupid as not having enough food? Think!

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[purrrnicious]

[WELL SHE



IS JUST GONNA TEAR UP

but angrily swipe at her eyes and turn to walk away]

[syckophant]

Fufufu, playing hard isn't working out for us, is it?

This really sucks.

[justicebewon]

We're not playing hard enough.

[syckophant]

Then......

We should use our ability, shouldn't we?

[purrrnicious]

––No.

[justicebewon]

You're sure fucking soft all of a sudden.

[purrrnicious]

It's not soft, it's not being stupid. Here's how that'll turn out. The game will end, and we'll be the only team that killed another, and they'll come at us harder and faster and all your little friends you've been trying to make will disappear.

Or, we could not randomly murder people when we don't have to and figure another way out of this. How about that?

[lefthandpath]

Unless that ability keeps us from starving drop that thought immediately.

Our immediately crisis is survival.

[justicebewon]

Can't buy food without money.

[justicebewon]

Yeah, but we gotta do more than just that. Money's not solving this problem alone.

Someone stole from us. I wanna find them.

[ she...pulls out her taserbow. and fires an experimental lightning bolt at the shitty ass roof. ]

We'll take it all back. Report them. If the cops are gonna fuck with us, we'll just become cops. That's justice.

[syckophant]

If you can tell me how you will find out how to find the culprit, then I say go for it.

EVENT 1

[idolpro]

ALL YOUR SHIT WAS STOLE?

At least you still have that happiness. . .

EVENT 2

[idolpro]

You are STILL NOT PAYING FOR HOUSING, which is fine except when everything starts getting run the fuck down - pipes breaking, house structure getting tanked, that kind of thing. It really doesn't help when a freak accident occurs during YOUR SHIT GETTING STOLE where your 8/8 of an automobile was apparently just RUN THE FUCK INTO THE WALL and now you have A GAPING ASS HOLE THERE.

Well, what the fuck.

EVENT 3

[idolpro]

A tax collector comes to your door. You are under arrest. What do you do?

TURN IN

[idolpro]

Re: TURN IN

[purrrnicious]

BUDGET:

FOOD

who the fuck taxes a panhandler the tax man can fuck off we're not even claiming an income at this point what are you assessing based on

EVENT:

Crown is trying to find a legitimate job literally any job to support the family while thieving in the night.
Eichi is thieving but cool with going to jail because hey free room and board.
Kohime is hunting birds because she's still a goddamn cat and leaving them by Ruby's bed because Ruby refuses to eat. She's also thieving, preferably from rich houses to fence the swanky shit.
Ruby is using his remaining criminal underground connections to try to hunt down whoever is responsible for stealing our shit and driving a car through our house. Ruby's also using the taserbow to try to either scare people or convince them to worship the moon.
When the tax man comes Eichi tries to go quietly but his cat immediately claws the shit out of the heathen who dares touch her thing and does her very best to chase him off.

Re: TURN IN

[idolpro]

Well, Crown doesn't manage to get a job but he does manage to steal a little bit to get by! 200 MONIES.

EICHI'S

going to jail.

Eichi's also taking everyone on BARiTONES with him.

This is what happens when you get a crit fail.

But at least Kohime is perfect and wonderful and manages to succeed in every endeavor she puts her mind on before she mcfuckin goes to jail.

Ruby finds out that it's [RESULTS INCOMING]. He also convinces people to worship the moon, and it works SO WELL THAT HE GOES TO JAIL.

That is, he goes to jail, but also he manages to convince everyone in prison to worship the moon.

Things could be worse???

Anyway just for the sake of completion Eichi does not successfully go off quietly and Kohime scratches the SHIT out of this tax man. In fact, she does it SO WELL THAT THE TAX MAN DIES.

GOOD THING SHE'S ALREADY GOING TO JAIL.