idolpro | GM Game: LiliS

Entry tags:

- exael

GM Game: LiliS

[ The door shuts behind you, leaving you in a copy of this room. Upon one of the fancy tables is your card for the round, along with slots for each unit for you to go slide in your choices.

You can come and go as you will, but once you have left the room, you cannot speak of anything that transpires within: not your choices, not your discussion, not your alliances.

Do your best, idol-tachi. ]

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In short, yes. [ her tone is gentle, but her expression firm ]

If one of our own were to commit an atrocity, we would be accountable for that—and it would be our responsibility to ensure that it never happened again.
That kind of accountability isn't easy, but I believe in it quite deeply.

[ a beat ] And besides, none of what we're looking at inflicting is harsh. Between BARiTONES and ZRAEL, I know BARiTONES is much more sensitive to the general... principle of getting hit at all, if that makes sense.

[Backing away from Amaranth]

All you do by punishing the whole team is encourage them not to trust the rest of the community; that they can only trust each other. By punishing ALL of Zrael, you are just ensuring they'll become more insular, not more likely to want to help make this a peaceful welcoming place. They'll just wind up feeling unfairly judged, outcast, and that they are being held to an impossible standard by others.

[not sliding between them but stepping up, closer to camellia than amaranth]

That's enough. You both made your arguments, but she's been carrying us through this. Hasn't led us wrong yet, so I say we stick with what she decided on.

[Glancing up at him]

[not looking at her, just stuck on Amaranth, but there's a cringe that says he can feel the look]

[Stares at her shoes]

[oh, god, it is hurt]

[ummm, dropping a hand on her head]

You can walk away. We heard the plan.

[Swallows thickly and nods]

[or amaranth is walking away, and he is left with the crying thing; okay, stepping closer to put her head to his chest, hand stroking her hair in short passes]

It's okay, you did fine. Held your ground. It's going to help her, in the end.

I don't think she heard me at all...I'm not suggesting she's trying to make us change! I have enough sense to know that! I heard her!

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(( whoops, sorry about the slight timeline incongruity ))

I agree that Camellia has earned the final judgment here, and I support her in that.

[ Her lips are parted as if to say something more—an implicit "but." Instead, she pauses, considering John with an interested look, before sighing lightly and saying her final piece to Camellia. ]

So, stop talking already. She heard you, so listen to her.

I am— [ strained ] trying.

[ on both fronts!! yet he can doubtless see how every time an explanation backfires, she lets herself get pulled back in. ]

Don't defend. Can't accept something if you're already preparing a counterargument, let it hit and sink in.

[ her jaw tightens unhappily, but there's a slow, careful exhale and a slight nod before she returns her focus to Camellia ]

[ After she at last does manage to extricate herself in (however many more words). ]

Very little of that was me attempting to convince her, past the first suggestion she was hurting.
I only do not want her to despise me. It is not a fear I have had before today.

[ With her small explanation given, she will turn to walk away unless he specifically stops her. She's sensitive to what she sees forming between him and Camellia; would rather remove herself than risk interfering. ]

Edited 2019-12-01 19:32 (UTC)

[that gets an exasperated sigh and roll of his eyes, but shaking his head and moving to the next thing]

[ cool that feels like shit too!
though the only indication is a not-quite cringe—just a small thinning of her lips ]

Camellia. [ voice soft as she can make it, now ]

It isn't an impossible standard. But I don't mean to fault your compassion for them, and I know you've been working hard this whole game.
Maybe a better way to put this is that I know that feeling is something that BARiTONES has been experiencing for a long time.

And, between the two units, if we're worried about needing to block an attack, I think there's a reasonably good chance ZRAEL would target us, while I am confident that BARiTONES will not.

This isn't even about choosing between Bit and Zrael anymore.

To willingly hurt an entire unit to punish them for the actions of an individual.... When there are people on that unit who are innocent of that persons crimes and may not have even condoned them... Are you really any better?

Edited 2019-12-01 10:15 (UTC)

[ She looks briefly hurt, but quickly schools her expression into something more even. ]

There are reasons for my principles. And I endeavor to hold myself to a high standard in turn. I have a friend on ZRAEL, in fact. I do not want her to be hurt, if it can be avoided. None of these things do I say lightly, or without grave consideration of the consequences.

But please do not take any of this to be so unbending, or so inconsiderate of the rest of you, that I will not accede to what you would prefer to do.

Am I supposed to be happy that I receive more consideration by virtue of being placed on LiliS? Had I been placed on Zrael instead, I would be punished right now.

...I do not believe myself able to control anyone else’s actions but my own. So, after this game, I’ll pack my things and take my leave of LiliS.

[ whoa WHAT ]

Camellia, no—! [ shit shit shit how did she fuck up this bad???? ]

I would much rather do my best to be gentler than ever have you think something like that were necessary! There is no contest between the two.

You’re kinder than that. Punishing a whole team.... You don’t tear out all the flowers just because there’s a weed among them!

[ She knows what card was played on them, but it's impossible to say who was actually hit. Maybe it's herself? She doesn't feel any different, though? Does that make this better or worse? ]

I don't know if I'm very kind or not. But I try to be just.
This place... I feel as though it has tied my hands. Eclipse's death was a terrible thing to return to. He has been like a son to me in a lot of ways, and nothing I do can genuinely prevent his killers from getting back up and trying again—and they seem very much like the type who would try.

Only ZRAEL has the power to change that.
But... I won't ever force you or LiliS to be people you are not. I promise I will never ask you to be harsh or cruel, because all of you are very kind.