Heart Game: Hurricane - Run 2

[idolpro]

[At first, all is still; all is silent.]

[The only light is the light from your phone, where a checklist has taken over the screen. It reads:]

___ Make a change
___ Repair something
___ Protect something
___ Find the True Heart
___ Survive

[Then the light comes up, bright, and then brighter, and you are in…]

Comments

CW suicide

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

. . .

They got me, you know. Made me think I was worthless and would bring all my friends to ruin. I believed that so much... I almost killed myself. I would've done if CB-kun hadn't snapped me out of it.

So I guess I'm not always great at it either. Because that's how those things are. But we both pulled through, right?

Re: CW suicide

[crossmyheartandhope]

[He sits, very still and quiet, as Mori talks. Then, softly:]

...yeah. We both pulled through this time.

Re: CW suicide

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Holds out a hand to him]

Were you facing them alone?

Re: CW suicide

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Takes it, and squeezes.]

I mean... it's me, right? All of this is me.

It ain't like there's usually no one else in here.

Re: CW suicide

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Squeezing it back. Mori opens his mouth to respond...

And then bursts into tears.]

Re: CW suicide

[crossmyheartandhope]

Mori?

What - hey, you okay?

They don't - you ain't still hearing those things, are you?

Re: CW suicide

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Shakes his head, throwing his arms around Hurricane.]

I'm not - it's not that.

You won't cry for yourself, so I'm crying for you.

Re: CW suicide

[crossmyheartandhope]

[...oh.]

[He softens, putting his arms around Mori and just holding on]

You don't gotta cry for me, dude.

Re: CW suicide

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

I will. You can't stop me!

You don't have to tell me everything. You can wall everything up and refuse to let anyone in. But you can't stop me from wanting to help you and you can't stop me from crying for how much you're hurting when you force yourself to face all these awful things alone.

Re: CW suicide

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Hesitates, then gets a hand up to set it on the back of Mori's head, gentle.]

...you're a good brother, you know that?

Re: CW suicide

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

Yeah? Well, you deserve a good brother! You're a good brother too. The best I could ask for.

Re: CW suicide

[crossmyheartandhope]

[...oh no, now Hurricane is also tearing up.]

Dude, c'mon, you're gonna make me cry.

Re: CW suicide

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

It'd be okay if you did.

I mean, look at me blubbering right now, what am I going to say?

Re: CW suicide

[crossmyheartandhope]

[Gives a watery sort of laugh that turns into a choked kind of sob halfway.]

Is it real selfish to say I'm glad you're here? Like... I wish you didn't have to go through all that, but I'm still glad you're here.

Re: CW suicide

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Pulls back slightly, keeping his arms around Hurricane and looking him in the eye]

It's not selfish. I want to be here for you for stuff like this. I don't care how awful it is, we can deal with it together.

Re: CW suicide

[crossmyheartandhope]

[He makes that watery little laugh again, and rests his head on Mori's shoulder.]

...thanks, dude.

Re: CW suicide

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

[Hugging him tight, stroking a hand through his hair]

I hate that you feel like you had to build that wall.

Re: CW suicide

[crossmyheartandhope]

The stuff on the other side's stuff no one needs to see.

It's real bad, dude.

[Holding on just as tight back]

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

We've all got real bad stuff we don't want others to see. That's what makes us human. It doesn't matter if nobody 'needs' to see it. It's not something you need to lock away either.

[crossmyheartandhope]

Even I don't wanna see it, and it's in me.

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

I know. I really do understand how it feels, Hurricane-kun. There are so many parts of me that are horrible, and weak, and cruel, that I want to force down. I don't want anyone to see them, I don't want to be that kind of person, I don't want anyone to know.

But recently, I've found that, when I do talk about those parts... Things that I used to bury and feel so heavy inside my heart don't feel as painful anymore. I don't feel like it's going to choke me.

Maybe you have a lot heavier things than I do. I can't imagine they're worse than what those harbingers made me feel, but they could be to you, and I might have no idea. But I think... Sometimes, even if all you want to do is force it down and pretend it was never real, it feels better. To just get it out of you.

[crossmyheartandhope]

I don't wanna talk about it, though. I don't even wanna think about it.

Last time people came through here, one of em went down there and got hurt real bad.

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

...What happened to them?

[crossmyheartandhope]

...same thing that happened to me.

She got grabbed by goat dude.

[ferociousfuckingnerd]

Goat... dude?

[Mori was not there for that and doesn't know who that is]

I don't know what they did. But... That does sound bad. I'm sorry it happened.