The Last Supper - sensitIV

[idolpro]

[ The elevator lets you out into a private room: from the decor, it is doubtlessly an enclave of the restaurant you saw earlier on screen.

Your phones have filled with a rather sizable rule list. ]

Comments

Re: DISCUSS

[sancrimony]

So why is it alright for us to decide to do that to AlcheME!!? Because it isn't us? Because there's a chance that it won't happen!?

[ with a curl to his lips ]

I am prepared to take responsibility for the people I have killed. Are we prepared to unnecessarily destroy another unit's mental faculties?

Re: DISCUSS

[rollwillpowercheck]

It's not all right, but that's the point! None of the options are okay!

One, you kill someone, they're not a heart, they're unnecessarily dead! Two, you kill someone, they're a heart, and the rest of their unit's mental faculties are destroyed! Three, we abstain, and nothing happens! Four, we abstain, Vidar dies, and we go crazy! Five, we abstain, and alcheME goes crazy!

[his voice has been growing steadily louder, and by this point, he's yelling]

All of the options are awful, but you can't purposefully go against the one we've decided on and then claim that's somehow better!

Re: DISCUSS

[sancrimony]

One, the pool of hearts has narrowed. Two, the game ends more quickly. Three, the game is extended and other units have more chances to have to harm other units.

Four, the game ends more quickly. Five, the game is extended and AlcheME!'s choice to play or to abstain is removed, and they become monsters -

[ his voice hitches up, his hand at the pit of his stomach as he scowls ]

- monsters that still yet crave flesh! Completely devoid of the grace of God -

[ his nails dig in, twisting the fabric and his own skin ]

I won't have them turn into something like that! I won't have anyone else have to endure that weight! Something horrible like that - is crueler! Such immeasurable weight - I won't inflict that on anyone!!

[rollwillpowercheck]

[he goes still.]



Ah.

So that's what it's about.

[sancrimony]

[ I don't like how you reacted

immediately closing in on himself, elbows tight against his body as he turns to go talk to marigold instead I need to go I need to not be here ]

[rollwillpowercheck]

Is that how you see yourself...?

[sancrimony]

[ and then marigold went instead of me aaaaaa ]

..... You already know.

[ a sort of, not question but not firm enough to be a statement either, distinctly hollow ]

[rollwillpowercheck]

You're not a monster.

[sancrimony]

How can you say that, with what you know?

[rollwillpowercheck]

[a little haltingly:]

I don't... know the full story. Of what happened in that house, or after. But, looking back on it, I saw how badly it affected you. I'm seeing... how much the trauma's still twisting you up inside even now. How much you want to protect others from the same experience.

How could I think you're a monster?

[sancrimony]

Do you suggest that what I've done could possibly be forgiven!? Because of something like guilt!?!

[rollwillpowercheck]

I-- yes? You weren't in your right mind. And then, afterwards, you can't just expect trauma like that to go away...

[sancrimony]

[ honestly looking paler to talk about it at all ]

. . . It isn't a burden for you to forgive, anyway.

[ his voice is tight, and he shakes his head. like honestly those are true points but also what if I hate myself forever instead ]

Regardless - I won't do that to another.

[rollwillpowercheck]

It's not, but... it's something I think at least someone should say to you.

[sancrimony]

. . . Forgive me for disbelieving your words.

[rollwillpowercheck]

[firmly:]

You can disbelieve all you want. They're still true.

[sancrimony]

[ closes his eyes ]

Then I'll disbelieve you.

[rollwillpowercheck]

Lucifel.

[that's fine, he'll get a truth potion after this is all over,]

[sancrimony]

. . . It isn't as if I think you're lying, but how could I accept that?

[rollwillpowercheck]

I don't understand.

[sancrimony]

[ quieter, fingers flexing into his stomach again ]

. . . How could I begin to forgive myself?

[rollwillpowercheck]

[therapy]

It won't... be easy. But accepting that it wasn't your fault...

[sancrimony]

. . . It was by my own hand, Anubis-san.

[ quieter, but full of emotion ]

With this mouth . . . with this tongue, with these teeth, with this throat! I did something so despicable - not for any other reason than loneliness, a twisted thought that I could - somehow, that it would be acceptable for me to . . . take and keep a part of someone like this -

[ his voice breaks, fingers twisted in his gut to the point of pain ]

The fault is mine alone. The responsibility of such an unforgivable deed lies on this monster - there isn't anyone else who justly deserves such a burden.

[rollwillpowercheck]

[grabs Lucifel's wrists, tugging at them -- not that he's even remotely a match for Lucifel's strength, but.]

And if any of us did the same... would we be monsters? Would you think we were unforgivable?

[sancrimony]

[ too tightly wounded to let him pull, hunched over ]

. . . It isn't in my place to forgive you.

[ but he does speak again after a moment ]

I could . . . only accept you as you are.

[ with a shake of his head ]

But - you mustn't. If you can avoid it, you mustn't.