idolpro | YULETIDE 2

[ Once you enter the Escape Room, a series of messages pops up on your phones: ]

TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wellll it looks like Naffy's out of commission? It'll take her awhile to reboot with how hard she just got hit by the autocensor!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Whatever you did, it really made her mad! Haha!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway since I know what's going on now, I'm happy to help! It looks like the nature of the threat is a gang war between an evil thought sealed and another that you all and your fans helped to return to the world of the not-so-living? Wild!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: In case you didn't get the memo, this means you're going to explore the combination WcDonald's and Damned Queen's Cookies!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There you'll find something you're looking for, probably…? But mostly you're looking for a way to contain the outbreaks!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: And fortunately, we've received a message from a friendly entity known only as "The Borger King", who apparently has a stake in the downfall of Lonard's lost empire…
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: It says:
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There is a war going on for your mind. Steal their secrets. Create the Ultimate Prankburger. The king awaits. Salvation will come.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wow! It looks like it's time for corporate espionage, or something?
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway, you get to keep everything you find, unless it's a dolphin! That's mine.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Better get going! Charge!!!!!

[ And then everything goes white... ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[I guess she now has flowers blooming from her skin and also hypothermia. This is great.

But she isn't letting herself be defeated without a fight here. Not when she also has Hysamine Blessing to boost her strength in combat. If we're fighting then she is fighting. Pew pew!!]

[Well, She's fine choosing violence also has flowers sprouting from her skin which is great and she still has that orb in the pocket not occupied by Venti. She still has Quick as a Wink active for dodging.]

Get out of our way!!

[Firing her gun at him!]

Edited 2022-02-04 05:30 (UTC)

[Okay, so flowers.

[Flowers, and his arm now hurts a lot. To the point it's basically useless.

[Clearly, this place has not changed its agenda one bitty fucking bit. K grits his teeth and - first things first, let's not be completely fucking stupid this time - turns Achilles Radar on Lonard WcDonard. Does this thing have any weaknesses? Let's find out.

[If he does? Aim at that.

[If he doesn't? Aim at literally anything. He's still got his tiger claws and one functional arm; he's still got Hysmine Blessing. Let's see what happens if we try and fill a killer clown (are there any other kind?) with sharp metal claws.]

Edited 2022-02-04 05:39 (UTC)

[No more talking for him. He coughs (chokes) on his own blood at first, about to have his knees give way beneath him before quickly using Nightingale. Hopefully Juniper Tree will aid as well.]

Edited 2022-02-04 05:46 (UTC)

Lonard is struck by the bullets, but he simply laughs. Still, the wounds have clearly dealt some damage, despite his bravado. The direct hits K makes to his BULGING RED CLOWN NOSE also seem to stagger him somewhat, too.

"DO YOU THINK YOUR BULLETS CAN DEFEAT ME? I AM THE BULLET MASTER. TAKE THIS - MY HONKS, MY BONKS, AND ALL OF MY JOVIALITY!"

Edited 2022-02-04 05:54 (UTC)

Now Playing - gonna have a fun time

Lonard swats K away, before summoning up another horde of Legendary Ballpit Ball WCDONARD. These strike the entire party and are charged with YULETIDE MAGICKS. In addition, the ground beneath you turns from ice to WCNUGGER. If you cannot gain your footing, you are in SERIOUS DANGER of suffering WCNUGGER ENTRAPMENT...

K may be afflicted by two of the following status effects:

- Major bruising
- Minor burns
- Broken limb

ALL IDOLS may be afflicted by two of the following status effects:

- Eye gouging
- Crushed windpipe
- Decapitation (not deadly) (head still functions)
- Bone hurting
- Crushed limb
- Desire to add violence to all actions
- Collapsed lung

ALL IDOLS may be afflicted by one of the following status effects:

- WcNugger Entrapment (fatal)

[Serenity has the no longer corrupted Hatsune Macaroni and therefore she is able to dodge the Ballpit Balls laced with YULETIDE MAGICKS.

(Roll 1d10: 10) And she maintains her footing, avoiding WCNUGGER ENTRAPMENT.

As soon as she ensure she's safe, she's ready to fight back. She steadies her feet and shoots several bullets directly at Lonard!]

Hatsune Macaroni glows with the power of ADORABILITY and SNOOOOOOOOW MIKU!.

The YULETIDE MAGICKS are defended against. The party is safe from them.... for now.

[So much dodging those green effects with Quick as a Wink and Serenity’s idol has saved them from blue effects!

She shoots at him again and then throws her mini Masamune at him like throwing knives. They might not actually be sharp enough but whatever.]

Edited 2022-02-04 06:16 (UTC)

[He'll have to thank Serenity when he has a tongue again. Now if only he had something to actually fight with. jfc.]

[It's genuinely disorienting to have all that bullshit thrown at him at once and open his eyes to find himself absolutely fine, and yet - inexplicably - that does seem to be the case. He's no worse off than he was before. Damage reports: situation normal. Ish.

[Ish will do.

[He's back up and on his feet in one smooth move, and the pain in his bad arm at least has him remembering not to put any weight on it. And then he leaps for Lonard again, 110% done with all this bullshit, teeth gritted and claws bared.

[Damn shame K can't think of some snappy honk-and-bonk-related one-liner to aim at him first, but we can't have everything.]

Lonard is completely and utterly beaten by K, like holy fuck? This clown didn't stand a chance after all, especially not with all those bullet wounds he's been accumulating. But he is no mere peon! He will not lose this way! Not again! Never again. Lonard stands, preparing his ULTIMATE CLOWNJUTSU.

Now Playing - %IDOLNAME%...it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts

Lonard unleashes his ULTIMATE CLOWNJUTSU, the FINAL PRANK! You cannot comprehend the form of this attack. You only know you have been completely and utterly HOODWINKED and JAPED.

Hatsune Macaroni sacrifices herself to protect the party from the worst of his violent explosion, but the holders of the orbs...cannot be saved.

ALL IDOLS suffer six of the following status effects:

- Face vandalized with marker
- Clothes changed into clown outfit
- Soaked with water
- Covered in pie filling
- Slipped on banana (severe concussion)
- Beat by invisible clowns from clown car with rubber chicken for 40-45 minutes
- Encased in Mascot Suit (only removable via surgery)

Serenity and Ren (and optionally Venti are afflicted with three of the following status effects:

- Death
- Impalement (impalement by ballpit ball) (fatal)
- Clown shoes (only removable via surgery)
- Clown nose (only removable via surgery)
- Death but the death rattle is horrible clown honking

Edited 2022-02-04 06:37 (UTC)

However, Lonard falls to his wounds nonetheless. His screams reverberate through time and space, and then fade into the void you now float in. And then, there is a flash of white...

Proceed.

YULETIDE 2 - BATTLE 5

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BOSS REACTION

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Cw: eye stuff

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