YULETIDE 2 - BATTLE 5
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wellll it looks like Naffy's out of commission? It'll take her awhile to reboot with how hard she just got hit by the autocensor!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Whatever you did, it really made her mad! Haha!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway since I know what's going on now, I'm happy to help! It looks like the nature of the threat is a gang war between an evil thought sealed and another that you all and your fans helped to return to the world of the not-so-living? Wild!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: In case you didn't get the memo, this means you're going to explore the combination WcDonald's and Damned Queen's Cookies!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There you'll find something you're looking for, probably…? But mostly you're looking for a way to contain the outbreaks!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: And fortunately, we've received a message from a friendly entity known only as "The Borger King", who apparently has a stake in the downfall of Lonard's lost empire…
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: It says:
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There is a war going on for your mind. Steal their secrets. Create the Ultimate Prankburger. The king awaits. Salvation will come.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wow! It looks like it's time for corporate espionage, or something?
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway, you get to keep everything you find, unless it's a dolphin! That's mine.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Better get going! Charge!!!!!
[ And then everything goes white... ]

OBJECTIVE
- Repair the Tokyo-F Quarantine Protocols
- Repair the Belief-o-Matic 3000 (Working Title)
- Restore Order to Chaos
Note: You are aware this is a two-part adventure, and a number of your comrades have gone to the other location.
To begin, roll 1d10.
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COMMUNICATIONS
Items may be transferred via dropbox in each area's first room (the Dining Room or Lobby). This is something all characters know how to do inherently. ]
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Kino: In case someone needs them?
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WcDonald's - Dining Room
There's a Lonard Wcdonard statue in the middle of the dining area. Do you like clowns?
It is certainly busy. The mascots have expanded to not only be Lonard, but a number of others, including Grimace and whatever the hell this thing is. There's also…uh…a 3d mural…?
Don't ask.
Behind the counter is the Kitchen. To the left is the F U N Z O N E.
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WcDonald's - Kitchen
The WcDonald's kitchen has a state of the art WcDonald Rotational Deep Fryer, an Ice Cream Machine, and a Burger Assembly Counter. Also, from here you can comfortably view and interact with the service counter and its cash registers, behind which employees safely take orders from those in the Dining Room from miscreants demanding their WcFlurries be given to them for free and that their manager be summoned from the depths this instant.
On the wall near the break area which consists of two very uncomfortable chairs and no tables is a posterboard with various things pinned to it. A phone can be heard ringing at the counter.
You can return to the Dining Room.
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-- Hello?
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WcDonald's - F U N Z O N E
This is the F U N Z O N E. In the F U N Z O N E, you may have to take certain risks, such as a giant flyswatter slapping you in the face as soon as you enter the zone. Of course, if you had Foresight, you could easily avoid the flyswatter.
There is a jungle gym, a slide, an obstacle course, the Legendary Ballpit, The !CAROUSEL! and a set of rules that must be followed. No running, only one child enters any given attraction at a time. Failure to follow these rules will displease Lonard.
You can return to the Dining Room.
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He's going to examine the play areas in turn before he leaves, and he — resists the temptation to run to spite the damned sign. ]
I swear, if this is a total waste of time...
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Damned Queen's Cookies - Lobby
Welcome to The Yuletide Queen's Manor/Remote Bakery Yuletide Cookies, recently invaded and sullied by the foul Lonard WcDonard! There's not a dining room or anything because nobody is supposed to eat here. No, they're supposed to appreciate what their Queen has so graciously granted them, that one day they might have an order of six (6) Yuletide Cookies delivered directly to their home! To this end, a lone shopkeeper works the desk.
On display on his counter are several objects that are not cookies. Lonard must pay for what he has done.
To the left is the Freezer, out the doors to the back leads to the Damned Queen's manor proper.
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Damned Queen's Cookies - Freezer
This is the Freezer, the second holliest and third jolliest location in the Damned Queen's manor. Here she stores the supplies needed to create her ultimate cookies, which is why there are meat hooks hanging from the ceiling. Besides that, there's just stacks of barrels with strange black goop, as well as a bunch of wrapped giftboxes everywhere.
Also...a recreational slot machine?
In the center of the room is an idol, emanating dark Yuletide magicks - it seems you won't be able to progress further without dealing with that, but how can you even get close to such a thing…?
You can return to the Lobby.
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This mean anything to anyone else?
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Damned Queen's Cookies - Santae Room
This is the Santae Room. In the Santae Room, you may have to take certain risks, such as having your soul seared by the holly jolly gaze of the patrolling Santae. Of course, if you had Laser Mastery, you could easily avoid the Santae.
Somehow, the Damned Queen's Yuletide magick feels tenuous here - despite the attempts of the Santae to hold everything together, it is clear her battle with Lonard caused great damage to her ability to maintain her domain. The music is unsure, uncertain. Easily interruptable, even. But not while the Santae are a danger...
You can return to the Lobby.
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h,
W h a t t h e f u c k ? ]
Ummmm, hello--? Am I interrupting . . . something?
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Damned Queen's Cookies - THE KING AWAITS.
The Borger King blocks your way forward.
Do you have what was requested?
Have you acquired their secrets?
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WcDonald's - THE KING AWAITS.
The Borger King blocks your way forward.
Do you have what was requested?
Have you acquired their secrets?
Re: WcDonald's - THE KING AWAITS.
Slowly gets out his phone, snaps a photo, texts it to the rest of his party. ]
🐺: Wants some shit from us I guess
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BOSS - Lonard WcDonard: Round 1
Lonard WcDonard sits in the throne, enjoying his victory over the Damned Queen's and his conquest of her palace. It seems he is currently GREATLY DISPLEASED.
Now Playing - BIG WAC
Without a word, in at absolute disgust toward your comrades' actions in his WcDonalds, he unleashes a scathing attack - an impenetrable curtain of Legendary Ballpit Ball WCDONARD flies at ALL PRESENT IDOLS, inflicting MAXIMUM DAMAGE!
The power of the Tokyo-F Belief-o-Matic 3000 as well as the twin powers of FESTIVITY and JOVIALITY surges through him. This will be a hellishly difficult fight, but there is a chance of victory...
All IDOLS PRESENT receive two of following status effects:
- Tongue ripped out
- Flowers sprout from skin
- Hands severed
- Decapitation (not deadly) (head still functions)
- Wasting disease
- Crushed limb
- Desire to add violence to all actions
- Hyperthermia
HOW TO FIGHT
Boss attacks work as follows:
RED attacks cannot be dodged under any circumstances.
BLUE attacks can be dodged by using certain items obtained during the adventure.
GREEN attacks can be dodged by rolling 1d10 and getting a 6 or higher, or by receiving help from an ally with a relevant unit power.
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BOSS - Damned Queen: Round 1
The Damned Queen stands across from you, in front of the Tokyo-F Belief-o-Matic 3000. She has siphoned its power, having gained access to it through her conquest of Lonard's REALM, which was so easily brought to her by the IDOLS of TOKYO-F.
Now, she is empowered with BELIEF, as well as the twin powers of FESTIVITY and JOVIALITY. And she is currently DISPLEASED. This will be a hellishly difficult fight, but there is a chance of victory...
Without a word, she begins to sing.
Now Playing - aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Yuletide Wreathes and Yuletide Light Strings come to life and surround all combatants, crushing them in their chilly, jolly grip!
All IDOLS PRESENT receive two of following status effects:
- Crushed limb
- Crushed sternum
- Blood from mouth
- Pierced eardrum
- Hypothermia
- Limb ripped off
HOW TO FIGHT
Boss attacks work as follows:
RED attacks cannot be dodged under any circumstances.
BLUE attacks can be dodged by using certain items obtained during the adventure.
GREEN attacks can be dodged by rolling 1d10 and getting a 6 or higher, or by receiving help from an ally with a relevant unit power.
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VICTORY PLATFORM
This is the end. Before you is the BELIEF-O-MATIC 3000, and the friends you had lost and the ones you've made along the way! With your hands, with all you've learned, you've repaired it. You've saved Tokyo-F!
Thank you for playing.
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They're just going to be impaled over here. As for the rest, uhhhh, we will find out when they are dying slightly less.]
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