YULETIDE 2 - BATTLE 5
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wellll it looks like Naffy's out of commission? It'll take her awhile to reboot with how hard she just got hit by the autocensor!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Whatever you did, it really made her mad! Haha!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway since I know what's going on now, I'm happy to help! It looks like the nature of the threat is a gang war between an evil thought sealed and another that you all and your fans helped to return to the world of the not-so-living? Wild!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: In case you didn't get the memo, this means you're going to explore the combination WcDonald's and Damned Queen's Cookies!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There you'll find something you're looking for, probably…? But mostly you're looking for a way to contain the outbreaks!
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: And fortunately, we've received a message from a friendly entity known only as "The Borger King", who apparently has a stake in the downfall of Lonard's lost empire…
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: It says:
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: There is a war going on for your mind. Steal their secrets. Create the Ultimate Prankburger. The king awaits. Salvation will come.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Wow! It looks like it's time for corporate espionage, or something?
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Anyway, you get to keep everything you find, unless it's a dolphin! That's mine.
TOTAL⚓DISASTER: Better get going! Charge!!!!!
[ And then everything goes white... ]

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...needless to say she's not. She's not getting back up.]
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—Hey. We're working on it, okay?
[ Gave Kino medicine, Kino got Venti up, Venti... might or might not be able to heal yet, but. It's in progress. Once Venti's all good, they'll — heal the living first, he supposes, then heal the dead and wake them up.
...Pragmatism. But the dead aren't in pain yet. ]
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Owowowowow... [...] Lupine...? Oh! You're here... you're-- what about the others? Is everyone... ow... is everyone okay?
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Yeah — yeah. I'm here. We're all here. We're...
[ Looks around, but Kino and Ren are working on it. ]
We'll be okay.
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That... mmmmm that sucked. [...] Still sucks.
[Ren's last bit of drugs can only do so much so she's still in a lot of pain. But at least she's here.]
But I'm glad you're all here. I was worried when we got separated...
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—Hey now. You don't need to worry about me in these games. My luck's pretty good.
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Hey nothing. Of course I'm going to worry. I happen to like you. And it sounds like things weren't a whole heck of a lot better on your side.
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I didn't die even once. Zari got a little impaled, but before we got to the final fight, that was the worst thing anyone on our side had going on.
[ ...But that sounds like he should be tugging you close, and he's going to, after a distinctly awkward beat. We're all cold right now, this is fine. ]
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Dying is not where the worrying starts, mister. Of course I'm glad you didn't-- but that's like... the lowest bar.
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I'm... thirsty? [ Dehydrated, and also just thirsty (but maybe not for water). ] I got stabbed, I guess, but it didn't actually take.
[ magic bark armor ftw ]
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Well she was doused in both water and pie filling so like. She can't resist teasing him with this opportunity in front of her.]
Care for a lick? I'm surprisingly delicious.
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Definitely not this visibly red, but somewhat red!]Re: VICTORY PLATFORM
Well she's committed now, so... taking a wet, pie coated finger and placing it in front of his lips--]
Say "aaaaah"...
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I. I'm fine.
[ no one has ever been more obviously fine ]
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[But she lowers her hand and huffs in amusement.]
And I'm guessing "thirsty" is some kind of euphemism for something a bit more... embarrassing.
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I didn't think it was! I really am dehydrated.
[ BUT ALSO, YEAH, and he's really trying now to think the least sexy thoughts anybody has ever had. ]
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......well, it's over now-- right? So she should be able to purchase things-- in this case, water, so that she can hand him a bottle.]
Here. We'll start with the important things first.
And then.... when you're feeling better, we can always do something about that other thing later.
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—Thanks. [ And he's really just going to... drink that entire bottle? All at once. It's that kind of thirst. ] [ When he's finished it, he stares at it for a few beats, surprised himself that it went that quickly, and then sighs quietly. ] For both offers, but you really don't have to.
[ Said as though she just offered to go out of her way or do something objectively obnoxious for his sake, instead of. you know. having a very nice time together. Sorry, Rene, but he's feeling a little stupid at the moment. ]
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It's alright. You're alright now.
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--Ren?! Ow... Ren, we... did we do it?
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[Holding her up and steadying her so that she doesn't fall over.]
Here. Use this, okay?
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[She lets herself lean on Ren and nods. It's painful, but she knows it's nothing she can't overcome. It doesn't keep small tears from forming at her eyes when she moves again.]
...thank you. I'm glad you were with me.
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[Gently catching her tears.]
I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, with anyone else.
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You dummy... you should want to be somewhere safe first.
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This might sound silly but, I don't think I could if I knew you were in danger. I'm sure you can handle yourself fine without me, but I just want to be here for you, that's all. I promised you, didn't I? Even if I wasn't quite able to keep my promise to keep you alive, I'll always bring you back to me.