idolpro | The Last Supper

Entry tags:

- exael

The Last Supper - sensitIV

[ The elevator lets you out into a private room: from the decor, it is doubtlessly an enclave of the restaurant you saw earlier on screen.

Your phones have filled with a rather sizable rule list. ]

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. . . I can, however.

[ so I, ]

[shakes his head]

We're abstaining this round.

Why would you drag this out longer?

[okay THIS he can do]

... the longest this can run is four rounds. You said you were just guessing. How much more likely is it that you'll actually find a heart?

And how likely is it that people have that exact sort of mentality? You would have people wait longer and longer, so that they can be picked apart one by one?

You're arguing that it's better to kill someone now to... lessen the suspense than it is to kill them later?

It is crueler to let things go on.

It's-- almost definitely going to take the same amount of time no matter what? You can't just... just decide it's better for someone from another unit to die!

[legitimately horrified]

. . . Either way, we will all die here. We have all died, here.

It isn't as if I think our unit is better off than others, but . . .

[ looks to vidar with a sharp eye, considering ]

Well, I suppose if your qualm is that, then I can remedy it. Perhaps it would be kinder that way.

[follows his gaze--]

Lucifel, no!

It is more productive than abstaining.

You still can't just decide that for the rest of us!

So why is it alright for us to decide to do that to AlcheME!!? Because it isn't us? Because there's a chance that it won't happen!?

[ with a curl to his lips ]

I am prepared to take responsibility for the people I have killed. Are we prepared to unnecessarily destroy another unit's mental faculties?

It's not all right, but that's the point! None of the options are okay!

One, you kill someone, they're not a heart, they're unnecessarily dead! Two, you kill someone, they're a heart, and the rest of their unit's mental faculties are destroyed! Three, we abstain, and nothing happens! Four, we abstain, Vidar dies, and we go crazy! Five, we abstain, and alcheME goes crazy!

[his voice has been growing steadily louder, and by this point, he's yelling]

All of the options are awful, but you can't purposefully go against the one we've decided on and then claim that's somehow better!

Edited 2018-10-19 04:12 (UTC)

One, the pool of hearts has narrowed. Two, the game ends more quickly. Three, the game is extended and other units have more chances to have to harm other units.

Four, the game ends more quickly. Five, the game is extended and AlcheME!'s choice to play or to abstain is removed, and they become monsters -

[ his voice hitches up, his hand at the pit of his stomach as he scowls ]

- monsters that still yet crave flesh! Completely devoid of the grace of God -

[ his nails dig in, twisting the fabric and his own skin ]

I won't have them turn into something like that! I won't have anyone else have to endure that weight! Something horrible like that - is crueler! Such immeasurable weight - I won't inflict that on anyone!!

[he goes still.]

Ah.

So that's what it's about.

[ I don't like how you reacted

immediately closing in on himself, elbows tight against his body as he turns to go talk to marigold instead I need to go I need to not be here ]

Is that how you see yourself...?

[ and then marigold went instead of me aaaaaa ]

..... You already know.

[ a sort of, not question but not firm enough to be a statement either, distinctly hollow ]

You're not a monster.

How can you say that, with what you know?

[a little haltingly:]

I don't... know the full story. Of what happened in that house, or after. But, looking back on it, I saw how badly it affected you. I'm seeing... how much the trauma's still twisting you up inside even now. How much you want to protect others from the same experience.

How could I think you're a monster?

Do you suggest that what I've done could possibly be forgiven!? Because of something like guilt!?!

I-- yes? You weren't in your right mind. And then, afterwards, you can't just expect trauma like that to go away...

[ honestly looking paler to talk about it at all ]

. . . It isn't a burden for you to forgive, anyway.

[ his voice is tight, and he shakes his head. like honestly those are true points but also what if I hate myself forever instead ]

Regardless - I won't do that to another.

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