idolpro | Izanagi's Ideal World

[ Lips quirking. He thinks, anyway, he can't — well, this is definitely shock. ]

Yeah.

[ After a long moment, gathering the shreds of himself, ]

So. Your life in Imeeji was like, a waking nightmare, huh?

It definitely got bad at points.

[Ahahaha...]

That's not what I said.

[ Muted. ] [ His gaze drops down to their entwined hands. Huh. But that's fine, too, really. ]

Most if it seemed pretty specific. There was definitely the bit where Hades broke your spine. And that crocodile again.

[ Just sort of — rattling off now. ]

New stuff, too. Machines. [ He doesn't even have the words for that bit, can't clearly picture what it did to him. ] Three punishments...? Maybe not from one specific game.

Edited 2021-12-30 07:07 (UTC)

...

Still thinking about that place?

Kind of hard not to. [ The ghost of a smile. ] Your place is really nice on the surface, Izzy, but that surface's only skin-deep.

[ Which. Feels like an appropriate metaphor, since he's pretty sure the feeling of sculpting Tenn's body back into one piece is gonna stay with him long after the rest of this dream. ]

Doesn't that just mean it's better not to dig too deeply?

[He's still tugging Lupine along - lamps light every part of the path, not too brightly, but enough to see by at least.]

[ Pretty easily tugged, honestly. Right now, he feels kind of like he'd follow you wherever. TRAUMA-BONDING. ]

That's one way to look at it, but I didn't actually have to dig that deeply.

[ Beat. Kind of wants to go through the list, point out all the places just outside Izzy's door that're full of pain and torment for his visitors, but... ] [ Instead he's going to give Izzy's hand a squeeze. ]

The nice parts still aren't real, though. [ Half smile. ] I don't know you well enough for them to be real. [ Which kind of aches to think about right now. This whole setup is so damned... lonely. Murmurs, ] When you graduate for real, I bet there'll be a line of people ready to go through your door with you.

[He keeps walking, leading the way and facing forward.]

...Even if it isn't real, you'd still rather go back?

...I'd rather you get the chance to make it real, the way you won't if you stay here.

[ A distinction. Your ideal world is awful, but he can't in good faith argue that Imeeji is better for you. ]

Is it worth it, though? I mean, even if I had a chance of it, I'd still have to endure all that for who knows how long.

[ He knows. And he's quiet for a long moment. ]

I guess that's up to you. But if it were me, I'd want my real friends there at the end of the day. [ Another squeeze. ] Couldn't help noticing they were missing from your house.

[ His house had a ton of photos of LiliS. Not all of the people he cares about in Imeeji, either, but. Izzy's house had no photos at all. ]

Edited 2021-12-30 23:06 (UTC)

There's still real enough people to populate it though, right?

[But...

Suddenly, your character’s phone begins to beep. Izanagi doesn't seem to notice.]

[ Hesitates to look at it, because damn, Izzy, but — looking at it, even as he murmurs: ]

Those people in the city? The ones who just have a couple of scripted lines they can say? [ Wan smile. ] I don't think they count.

You're real.

[Upon looking at the phone, it becomes clear that it’s finished loading. However, the screen has a few other differences, too.

Password: CHRYS

Open file?

YES/NO

[But even if they don’t make a selection, once they’ve had a chance to read the words on the screen, “yes” flashes and the screen changes once more. It seems to be an album file titled “Missing Element: Chrysanthemum” with various photos of Izanagi and another idol from LiliS. The contents are all mundane little snapshots of life - shopping at a department store, or even the black market, photos of cooking together, or relaxing side by side. And while Chrys’ expression tends to be more subdued, Izanagi’s clearly happy in every single one.]

...That's sweet, but we both know I'm not the guy who's supposed to be here with you.

[ Hesitates just a few more seconds, then tilts the phone so that Izzy can see. ]

He is.

[Oh.]

...Damn, that's a low blow.

Heh. Sorry.

[ And he is sorry. ]

He's not in Imeeji anymore, right? Transferred or graduated?

...Graduated. He's already home.

[ That's probably the harder answer. Gently, ]

Still means your best hope for seeing him again is to come back with me.

[ Smallest pause. ]

I'm not saying it'll be easy. And I can't really offer to carry even part of the burden you'd be taking on.

[ Which he hates. ]

[ ...Though it also reminds him, and. Man. ]

Did have one thing I was planning to do, next PVP game. It's not much, but... hopefully it'll help a little.

[He gives a short, sad laugh.]

You don't have to convince me anymore. I don't want to be in any world without him.

[He'll release Lupine's hand - if only so he can bring his own together, idly rubbing at his left index finger. It's bare today, but normally he wears a silver ring engraved with snowdrops and chrysanthemums.]

[ That's — honestly the worst. Slips the hand into a pocket, watching. ]

Some people are just like that. Worth any amount of — anything else.

[ And while a lot of other things people have said to him, that he's thought, about relationships have rung sort of — hollow to him, like maybe he believes that could happen to someone else but not to him — this...

This, maybe he gets. This, maybe he's had. ]

I don't know about that.

[His tone is - a little disparaging, really.]

But - I'll keep trying to get back to him.

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