idolpro | 531 Monstrosity & Morality: Dividing Lines of the Self and Other, Section 4

[ oh. she wonders how that might be related?

taking more notes on subsequent reads before moving on to the price of progress ]

This is a sort of political science essay, of a sort.

Also, somewhere while you're reading it—there's a kind of shuffling sound behind you, and something like a giggle? But if you turn around, you don't see anyone immediately.

[ ????????? this is a library ]

... Hello?

[ putting one of the notebooks in the book to mark her place and standing to look around a bit, searching for the source of the noise ]

There's a little pitter-patter of small feet.

How are you feeling right now? Just curious.

[ Fine, more confused than concerned - worried about Hope. Determined to write a proper thesis. Thinking idly about how Hope might be doing how Sashay might be doing how Bad End might be doing, in approximately that order. Thoughts rolling from one to the other like a ball down a hill.

She checks under one of the tables, squinting. ]

Is there someone there...?

There's another little giggle, and there's the brief glimpse of a braided pigtail rolling out of sight.

Strangely, you feel... maybe a little less determined? Just like the feeling is easing away. Bleeding out of you. More neutral.

Edited 2021-09-07 01:37 (UTC)

[ oh . . .

glances back at her desk, before looking back under the table. maybe a nap would be good ]

Um - ...

[ looking down - does she have her bag on her? ]

There's something that I was supposed to be writing, but is there something that you wanted to talk about...?

"Ah—did you catch me? I was hiding!"

And a small child-sized person pops up from behind an armchair.

Oh -

I ended up hearing your voice, I think ... Do you want to come over here?

"Sure, if you want! Are you going to give me something?"

This is a library, so there wouldn't be places to have tea or cookies or anything like that, would there...? Is there something that you want...?

"I wonder what it would be like to eat tea and cookies..."

She goes sort of... oddly neutral.

"Do you remember what that's like, Miss?"

Me?

For me, I think - ... well, between them, if it's a decision between eating something sweet and something that's spicy, then I prefer to eat things that are spicy, but it's really nice to make tea, and to bake cookies - and other people seem like they really like them... There are a lot of different kinds, too, so it's probably something that can change really easily, isn't it?

"Probably...?"

The little girl tilts her head. "Do you not know that kind of thing?"

There's a little bit of interest there.

Well, whether it's something that I've experienced before, or something that hasn't happened before, it's still something that's a little hard to tell, isn't it?

It's a little like . . .

[ trails off, thoughtful . . . ]

Um, it's a little like the color of the sky, right? Not the reason for it, or anything like that, but just that color...

What color do you think that it is? Do you know? It's okay if you don't!

Edited 2021-09-07 02:12 (UTC)

"It's blue sometimes... but also it's red sometimes. And it's kind of gross and grey in Los Angeles?"

...

"You just seem kind of like... you're trying not to have feelings about things, Miss."

Mn, I don't think that it's really anything like that - in comparison to something like that, isn't it more like that example - ... ?

Even if I could say that too - that the sky is blue, or sometimes red or grey, it doesn't mean that the blue, red, and grey that we see are the same kinds, does it...?

"Hm... maybe I was wrong, then. I was wondering if you were like me, since you seem like you talk about those things like... they're not really a thing you feel, exactly?"

She frowns. "But I guess maybe everyone is different..."

Ah - ...

[ hums a little, gaze drifting off towards a nothing-in-particular piece of bookshelf ]

I don't really know ...

[ and, after a pause, ]

What do you think?

"Well, you're not very much like Grace, because she always thinks she knows the answer even if she doesn't actually—"

She shakes her head.

"Maybe you're like Iris. I can't tell what you want from me, though. I could always tell, with her."

[ ? ]

Oh, I don't really want anything, I think ... but you were watching me read, weren't you? After I ended up hearing you, I wondered who it was that was behind me, and tried to look for you - and then after you were found, I thought that there might be something that you wanted to talk about, or that you might have wanted to talk, so then I asked - and then right now, we're talking to each other, aren't we?

"...."

She just kind of stares for a few seconds.

"You got anything you're sad about?"

... What do you mean?

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

1/3

2/3

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY

Re: ESSAY