Capitalism, Hey!: AlcheME!

[idolpro]

[ Everything fades to black...and you awaken in a run-down one-room shack, with the distinct feeling that the people around you are your family, if you didn't already have such a bond with them.

You're wearing raggedy versions of your uniform, and a newspaper informs you that you are currently in %COUNTRYNAME%, in the year %CONTEMPORARY%. The newspaper is otherwise actually fairly unhelpful, aside from something detailing a recent high-profile murder having been solved: despite confusion on the part of the authorities conducting the initial investigation, it turns out the victim had been tragically murdered via gun in the knife.

What do you do? ]

Comments

YEAR 1

[idolpro]

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - COAL MINER. YEARLY INCOME - 1800 MONIES.

Will you pay taxes this year?

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[wantstheddd]

Obviously we'll commit tax fraud, that goes without even saying. We won't pay taxes but forge papers to make it seem like we did pay taxes.

[wantstheddd]

But that's still kind of a low budget for my liking so we will proooobably have to supplement it some other way. Oh no. If only there were a way... to get money that isn't in our budget...

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[irregular]

Okay, um... I'll leave you in charge of that? My handwriting's terrible.

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[wantstheddd]

[ FINGER GUN ]

I'll handle all crimes and crime accessories. Also, I want to rob ZRAEL because I'm sick of them never getting any shit.

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[liarliarliar]

Zrael saved K and C in the space game though.

I will get a side gig doing tarot readings and selling lucky charms to supplement our income in the future.

What will we skip out on budget wise?

Re: SET YOUR BUDGET.

[irregular]

Okay, so you want me to just show up to work like a good boy so that nobody suspects you're doing crimes?

BUDGET TURN IN

[idolpro]

Re: BUDGET TURN IN

[wantstheddd]

Housing - 900
Food - 800
Medicine - 100
Clothing - 200

Steal from THE BANK, using tools stealthily stolen from the coal mining workplace to tunnel under the bank vault and empty it out in the middle of the night (OR ZRAEL IF THAT'S GETTING TOO WILD!!!)

Commit Tax Fraud which is to say don't pay taxes but pretend real hard like we paid our taxes

[idolpro]

You attempt to steal from THE BANK. However, the cops FUCKIN FIND YOU, and you GET SHOT in nonvital areas. You at least manage to ESCAPE WITH THE MONEY, but that'll show you! Crime doesn't pay, except when you specifically steal from people not THE MAN!

EVENT 1

[idolpro]

Your home has an infestation of rats. What do you do?

Re: EVENT 1

[wantstheddd]

Poverty Simulator says 'eat them', honestly.

Re: EVENT 1

[irregular]

[COLD

[BLOODED

[MURDER]

Re: EVENT 1

[irregular]

Or we could steal a cat, I guess.

Re: EVENT 1

[wantstheddd]

I'm telling you, man, just eat the rats. They're made of meat.

Re: EVENT 1

[irregular]

What if theye're plague rats? I don't wanna eat plague.

Re: EVENT 1

[liarliarliar]

Those rats are diseased.

But we can probably sell them as meat for animals.

EVENT 2

[idolpro]

While working on the mineral line, you notice a problem with a conveyer belt. You can either attempt to fix it, or leave it for the next shift.

Re: EVENT 2

[liarliarliar]

NOPE.

Re: EVENT 2

[wantstheddd]

Absolutely not.

Re: EVENT 2

[irregular]

I need my hands. No.

EVENT TURN-IN

[idolpro]

Re: EVENT TURN-IN

[wantstheddd]

E1: We kill a bunch of rats. U, known talented cook, makes them into delicious pies. B, known tragic orphan, sells the delicious pies after work hours while also reading tarot and palms for extra cash. We don't tell people they're rat pies unless, y'know, they seem real cool.

We keep a few rats just in case we need them later. For like... purposes.

E2: I THINK YOU'LL FIND NONE OF US HAVE EVER LAID EYES UPON A CONVEYOR BELT IN OUR LIVES

Re: EVENT TURN-IN

[idolpro]

You are SO GOOD at killing rats and baking pies and selling pies that you GET RICH QUICK. You earn an additional 200 MONIES!

You leave it for the next shift. Sucks to suck!