Capitalism, Hey!: AlcheME!

[idolpro]

[ Everything fades to black...and you awaken in a run-down one-room shack, with the distinct feeling that the people around you are your family, if you didn't already have such a bond with them.

You're wearing raggedy versions of your uniform, and a newspaper informs you that you are currently in %COUNTRYNAME%, in the year %CONTEMPORARY%. The newspaper is otherwise actually fairly unhelpful, aside from something detailing a recent high-profile murder having been solved: despite confusion on the part of the authorities conducting the initial investigation, it turns out the victim had been tragically murdered via gun in the knife.

What do you do? ]

Comments

YEAR 1

[idolpro]

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - COAL MINER. YEARLY INCOME - 1800 MONIES.

Will you pay taxes this year?

BUDGET TURN IN

[idolpro]

EVENT 1

[idolpro]

Your home has an infestation of rats. What do you do?

EVENT 2

[idolpro]

While working on the mineral line, you notice a problem with a conveyer belt. You can either attempt to fix it, or leave it for the next shift.

EVENT TURN-IN

[idolpro]

YEAR 2

[idolpro]

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - COAL MINER. YEARLY INCOME - 1800 MONIES.

Will you pay taxes this year?

EVENT 1

[idolpro]

Flooding in one of the caves has cut down coal production, putting your factory in danger of shutting down. You find yourself out of a job for the remainder of the year.

As a result, you all become horribly emaciated as you use up the last of your food stores. You're barely eating enough to make it through the week, and at almost all times the pangs of hunger strike you almost unbearably.

Your family is STARVING.

EVENT 2

[idolpro]

While you were shot nonfatally, your injuries have resulted in COMPLICATIONS, resulting in THE DISEASE. You find yourselves growing wearier and wearier every day, while also becoming more and more temperamental and crazy. LEAD POISONING is a fuck.

TURN IN

[idolpro]

YEAR 3

[idolpro]

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - COAL MINER/FORTUNE TELLER. YEARLY INCOME - 1400 MONIES.

NEW CRIME ABILITY ACQUIRED: VOODOO - allows you to gain 500 monies in exchange for CURSING a unit.

Will you pay taxes this year?

EVENT 1

[idolpro]

With how little you pay of your rent, you're getting knocks on your door every day. You're pretty sure you're about to be EVICTED.

EVENT 2

[idolpro]

You have to . . . you have to fix this fucking conveyor belt. It's mcfuckin broke and it's been broke for years. Literal! You pawned it off on the next shift but then the supervisor just ASSIGNED IT BACK TO YOU!

But also you've heard that people have DIED on this conveyor belt. Uh, you don't want to do that!

You CAN just pawn it off on some homeless people and give them 100 monies for it. Hey, that doesn't seem like a bad idea?

EVENT 3

[idolpro]

A tax collector comes to your door. You are under arrest. What do you do?

TURN IN

[idolpro]

YEAR 4

[idolpro]

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

HAPPINESS: IS 8/8 OF A CAR. 160

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) - 8
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - A LOT OF THINGS. YEARLY INCOME - 2000 MONIES.

NEW CRIME ABILITY ACQUIRED: IDENTITY THEFT - allows you to steal a unit's luxuries as well as their jobs.

Will you pay taxes this year?

EVENT 1

[idolpro]

Through your MANY, MANY, MANY CONNECTIONS, you somehow manage to get A SHITTON OF FOOD. Wow! You're pretty set there - you only need to pay half the recommended budget to get by this year!

EVENT 2

[idolpro]

Living a life of conning means a lot of LATE NIGHTS, which means . . . you guessed it.

GUESS WHO'S SICK AGAIN MOTHERFUCKERS.

EVENT 3

[idolpro]

You burn through all of your clothes real quick, possibly because you've got to do a lot of quick changing as con artists (+1 kitchen man who gets oil on his shit all the time). Soon enough, you run out of clothes.

You now have FROSTBITE.

EVENT 4

[idolpro]

YOU RAN AWAY FROM TOO MANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS AND NOW THEY'RE CATCHING UP TO YOU AND YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!

No, it's just the sick and frostbite. But seriously, if you don't get that fixed you're going to die. Seriously.

TURN IN

[idolpro]

THE END.

[idolpro]

Or it would be, anyway, were it not for the fact that you find yourself waking up the next morning.

You're...still alive? No, no. You definitely died. You're still riddled with disease, still dying from the alcohol filling your veins, but...you're still standing.

You don't get to do much with your second chance, though. A prison riot breaks out nearby your home, and a simultaneous worker's revolution and the military which comes to stop it makes the city an absolute warzone.

In the end, you don't get to see who wins. It's definitely not you.

A stick of dynamite blasts your family apart, and you die once more. Mangled, diseased, and drunk.

Proceed to ENDGAME.