Capitalism, Ho!: Heart Soldier Senshi

[idolpro]

[ Everything fades to black...and you awaken in a run-down one-room shack, with the distinct feeling that the people around you are your family, if you didn't already have such a bond with them.

You're wearing raggedy versions of your clothes, and a newspaper informs you that you are currently in %COUNTRYNAME%, in the year %CONTEMPORARY%. The newspaper is otherwise actually fairly unhelpful, aside from something detailing a recent high-profile murder having been solved: despite confusion on the part of the authorities conducting the initial investigation, it turns out the victim had been tragically murdered via gun in the knife.

What do you do? ]

Comments

YEAR 1

[idolpro]

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - COAL MINER. YEARLY INCOME - 1800 MONIES.

Will you pay taxes this year?

BUDGET TURN-IN

[idolpro]

EVENT 1

[idolpro]

Someone is at your door, with FREE ALCOHOL. Do you accept it?

EVENT 2

[idolpro]

Your home is infested with rats. What do you do?

EVENT TURN IN

[idolpro]

YEAR 2

[idolpro]

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) - 1 UNIT
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) - 1 UNIT
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - COAL MINER. YEARLY INCOME - 1800 MONIES.

Will you pay taxes this year?

HAPPINESS: 40

BUDGET TURN-IN

[idolpro]

EVENT 1

[idolpro]

Your rat trick is noted and filed.

A tax collector shows up at your door. You are under arrest. What do you do?

EVENT 2

[idolpro]

You are evicted from your home.

It's so, so cold. HURRICANE and SPONSORED BY MOUNTAIN DEW® & DORITOS® will find themselves unable to speak coherently, mumbling and shivering constantly, as they fumbles in pain at trying to complete the simplest of tasks. They now have HYPOTHERMIA.

(You do not have to respond to this event.)

EVENT TURN IN

[idolpro]

YEAR 3

[idolpro]

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) - 3 UNITS
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) - 1 UNIT
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) - 8 UNITS
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - RAT CIRCUSMEN. YEARLY INCOME - 2200 MONIES.

NEW CRIME ABILITY: SQUEAK SQUAD - You now have the ability to just straight up steal other unit's food, in its entirety.

(They may or may not send a pink marshmallow to devour you alive and retrieve it.)

Will you pay taxes this year?

HAPPINESS: 280

BUDGET TURN-IN

[idolpro]

EVENT 1

[idolpro]

Your hypothermia worsens, bringing you to the brink of death. You should really do something about that!

EVENT 2

[idolpro]

SPONSORED BY MOUNTAIN DEW® & DORITOS® acquires an INFECTION from her festering wound.

(You do not have to respond to this event.)

EVENT 3

[idolpro]

You're going to have to ward off the police and bounty hunters now after your head, somehow. Come up with a plan!

EVENT TURN IN

[idolpro]

YEAR 4

[idolpro]

SET YOUR BUDGET.

[idolpro]

RECOMMENDED NECESSITIES:

Housing - 1000
Food - 900
Medicine - 200
Clothing - 300

LUXURIES: NO RECOMMENDATIONS

Alcohol (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Other Unspecified Drugs (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
FANCY Clothes (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Books (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
One Eighth Of An Automobile (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -
Nice Furniture (costs 100 per unit, adds 20 happiness per year) -

CURRENT JOB - DOG CIRCUSMEN. YEARLY INCOME - 2500 MONIES.

NEW CRIME ABILITY: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? - You now have the ability to just straight up maul another unit for their luxuries. It's a metaphor for crudely hitting on women!

(They may or may not send a pink marshmallow to devour you alive and retrieve it.)

Dead men pay no taxes.

HAPPINESS: 520

YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY is suffering INTERNAL BLEEDING and SEVERAL BROKEN BONES. Death approaches.

BUDGET TURN-IN

[idolpro]

EVENT 1

[idolpro]

You should probably do something about that almost dying you're about to do. It doesn't look like any doctors who want to have anything to do with you can help.

EVENT TURN IN

[idolpro]

THE END.

[idolpro]

You die warm, fed, well dressed, and...uh...not really comfortable? Hard to get that with broken bones everywhere, but it's as good a death as one can get. As you pass into darkness, one has to wonder if it was all worth it?

...

Well, at least it didn't hurt too much, in the end. Maybe it's better this way.

Proceed to ENDGAME.